Not Worth It
by bnvbnv27
Summary: Ash and James form a relationship after discovering they both love each other. Ash is suicidal and hiding a lot of secrets. James helps him out. Rated M. Lemon. Read and Review PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

To say Ash was In a good mood would be a lie.

Team rocket had attempted to steal Pikachu and it resulted in them accidentally capturing Ash. They brought him back to their camp and by the time they realized they hadn't captured Pikachu it was too late at night to do anything about it and team rocket and Ash would have to spend the night together. As Ash lie awake in the tent he was sharing with James he thought about Pikachu, Iris and Cilan. He hoped they weren't worried, even though they probably were. Ash sighed and looked over at James. He was still awake so making a run for it would be useless. Besides it was dark so he would only get lost. Ash sat up, and James looked at him.

"You still awake?" James asked.

"Obviously.

"Can't you sleep?" James asked.

"No. Your still awake to. Can't you sleep?" Ash asked pointing out the fact that James, was awake as well.

"I'm not very tired." James said.

"Why ?"

"I just have a lot on my mind and it's grown up stuff your too young to understand." James told Ash.

"James I'm sixteen."

"Really that old?" James asked.

Ash nodded.

"Well I guess I could tell you Jessie blamed me for not capturing Pikachu today. Not only that but we haven't stolen a single Pokemon in months and our boss is getting very irritated, and to top things off the only person I'm truly in love with hates me." James said.

"Who are you in love with?" Ash asked curiously.

"Promise not to tell?" James asked.

Ash nodded. Silently waiting for James to answer.

"It's a boy, a Pokemon trainer whom I've become very fond of. He has a great personality and he's hot but whenever I'm around him I treat him like dirt." James said.

"Why?" Ash asked.

"Because if I told him how I truly feel about him he would laugh in my face. He wouldn't believe me, not after the things I've done to him." James said.

"Why don't you try apologizing?" Ash asked.

"Believe me I want to." James said.

"Do I know this boy? Ash asked taking off the jacket was wearing.

"Well Actually-Hey! What happened to your arms?" James asked.

Noticing dozens of cuts and newly formed scars.

"Oh, that's nothing." Ash said.

"It doesn't look like nothing, is someone bothering you? Is one of your Pokemon acting up?" James asked with obvious concern in his voice.

"No I don't want to talk about it." Ash said.

There was a moment of silence between the two before James spoke again. "Did you do that to yourself?" He asked hoping the answer would be no.

When Ash didn't answer he took that as a yes. "Why?"

"Your not the only one with problems." Ash said quietly.

"I know but I'm not hurting myself." James said.

"Look it's no big deal."

"Yeah it is. It's dangerous are you suicidal or something? James asked.

Once again Ash didn't answer "Twerp, nothing is worth ending your life over." James said.

"You don't know what's going on."

"I know that you've got so much going for you, and you have so many people that care about you-including me-even if I don't show it a lot of the time. Jessie cares to so does Meowth. Whatever problems you have it will get better. Trust me." James said.

"You think so?" Ash asked.

"I know so. Now why don't you tell me what's going on?" James asked.

"Can I trust you not to tell anyone?" James nodded.

"I trust you not to tell anyone about my crush, so you can tell me about your problems." James said.

"Okay well Me, Cilan and Iris were traveling and it got really late so we decided to stop at a Pokemon center for the night. We ate dinner in the cafeteria and when we finished Cilan gave me money to pay for our food. Him and Iris went ahead to the room and I paid for our meals and started to head upstairs but I heard something outside so me being curious, like I usually am for some reason I went outside to see what was going on. There was this girl not much older than me and she was cornered by these four guys so naturally I figured the right thing to do was help her. Well I didn't have any Pokemon on me and that girl was yelling out to be helped. So I went over there, and I was no match for those four guys but I did manage to hold them off until the girl got away. I was about to run away when I knocked on of the guys down. He landed hard on the ground twisting and breaking his neck he died instantly. After that the other three guys ran away. The guy who fell was wearing a mask and I pulled up the mask and I realized that the bastard that I just killed is none other than my own dad! The cops started coming so I ran into the Pokemon Center and acted like nothing happened. Well apparently those guys with my dad were part of a gang he belonged to. After me, Cilan and Iris left town they followed us they did things I don't want to talk about to me.."

James interrupted Ash. "What kind of things? Sexual things?" Ash nodded.

"Yeah, The next day I get a call from my mom telling me she's engaged to one of the guys in the gang. I didn't tell her that I killed dad but she knows he's dead and this guy wanted to marry my mom just to hurt me and my mom and my mom couldn't see that. I decided I didn't want to be a part of that and ignored them. They got married he got her pregnant and left her. I knew something like that would happen. Well after he left her I let my mom back in my life, but drugs.." Ash said.

"Do you do drugs to?" James asked.

"Occasionally. It's easier than taking a knife to my wrist." Ash said.

Go on." James said.

"Okay well I started to become the one hurting my mom, the person I most cared about. I didn't even realize till I visited Misty and Brock. They always have a way of making me see things differently. Misty wanted to travel with me but I refused I know she misses me but I don't want to hurt her. Iris doesn't mean as much to me as Misty does so I don't care as much if I hurt her. Right now I want to be able to talk to my friends and get over what's happened. Ash said.

"But you can't?" James asked.

It's hard. I killed my dad, I was gang raped, one of the guys who did it married my mom and I hurt my mom and I'm pushing my friends away. Not only all that but my drug use is affecting my battling skills. I haven't won a badge in weeks." Ash said.

"Okay, that's about it." He finished.

James was at a loss for words by the time he was done.

"James? Say something " Ash said.

"I don't know what to say. I had no Idea you were going through this and I bet me and Jessie were only making it worse." He said.

"You guys are my comic relief." Ash said.

"Comic relief? Were supposed to be bad and scary. Well moving on, what are we gonna do about your problems because your not killing yourself. I'm not letting that happen." James said.

"Just a question? Why do you care so much?" Ash asked.

" Because I don't want you to kill yourself." James said.

"But I've made so many mistakes "Ash said.

"The only mistake you made is hurting yourself and doing drugs. Killing your dad was an accident and you can't help being raped, that's not your fault. Your mom marrying that guy was her decision, she probably knew this guy was a loser but she married him anyway. But you can look at the bright side of that." James said.

"There's a bright side?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, your gonna be a big brother. That's pretty cool and if you grew up without a dad then I'm sure your little brother or sister can too." James said.

"I guess that's a bright side. I always did want a little sibling." Ash said,

"And if you quit using drugs, then your life might slowly start returning to normal." James said.

"It's hard when your addicted." Ash said.

"I bet it is, that's why I never tried drugs. But you can stop. I know you can." James said.

"Really?" Ash asked.

"Ash, I ve known you for what? Six years? I know you re a strong enough person to quit using drugs. I m actually a little disappointed in you for getting hooked on them in the first place, but once you stop you can never do drugs again. Promise?" James asked.

"Promise." Ash said.

"Good. Do you have any drugs with you?" James asked.

"My backpack is loaded. Ash told him.

"Give it to me." James said.

Ash located his bag and handed it to James who emptied his bag.

"We'll get rid of those for good tomorrow."

"I paid a lot of money " Ash started.

"Well that was a waste of money." James said sternly, he was determined to help Ash quit drugs and the first step was getting rid of the drugs Ash had on hand with him. He turned his attention back to Ash.

"James your being really nice and stuff but would you really be upset if I killed myself?" Ash asked.

James looked shocked. "Of course I would! I love you!" He yelled.

"You what?" Ash asked.

James realized what he said and blushed.

"I said I love you." James said quietly.

There was a few moments of awkward silences between them. "Am I the boy you love?" Ash finally asked.

"Yes."

You really feel that way about me?" Ash asked.

"Yes! I do, but I know you don't feel the same." James said.

"James, I love you too!" Ash said.

"Really?" James asked.

"Yeah." Ash said.

"I didn't even know you were gay I just loved you." James said sincerely. Ash smiled.

"James your right. Things are getting better. I just found out the guy that I love loves me back. What could be better?" Ash said. James laughed.

"Being kissed by the guy that loves you." James said before connecting his and Ash's lips together. When they broke apart Ash was smiling.

James kissed him again. He slid his tongue over Ash's lower lip asking for entrance.

Ash opened his mouth and James slid his tongue in. Ash pulled away. "What's wrong?" James asked.

"Is this going to lead to sex?" Ash asked.

"Only if you want to." James said.

"I want to but it's might not be a good idea." Ash said.

"Are you scared?" James asked.

Ash nodded. " The only sexual experience I've had has been a bad one. I don't want this to be the same." Ash said.

" You have to trust me. When Ash still looked unsure James said I'll be gentle but I'm not forcing you." James said.

"Let's do it." Ash said.

"Really Are you sure? " James asked.

Ash nodded. James smiled inwardly. He kissed Ash again and started to remove Ash's shirt. When it was off of his body James took his shirt off he looked at Ash's body.

"Do you workout?" James asked. Ash shook his head no.

"I guess your just one of those people born with an amazing body, I gotta work for mine." James said.

"Yeah, Well I do walk everywhere and training Pokemon can be quite the workout." Ash said working at the belt on his pants which had become stuck.

"Here let me help you." James said. Ash watched as James undid his belt and threw it aside. James undid the button on Ash's pants and started sliding them down. Once his pants were off Ash was left In his Boxer's which weren't on for very long.

James started to remove his shirt and pants. "I don't want a one night stand James." Ash said suddenly. "Let's talk about that after were done." James said.

"No. Because then you would have already had sex with me." Ash said.

"Ash I love you. I'm not going to leave you after I have sex with you." James

"But your part of team rocket, how will we make this work?" Ash asked.

"We'll find a way. Trust me." James said.

He kissed Ash's neck, "Are you ready now?" He asked.

Ash nodded.

James brought Ash closer to him and pushed Ash onto his back. Ash blushed at how exposed he felt. James got on top of Ash and stared down at him. "Are you gonna stare at me all night?" Ash asked.

"If I want to I will." James said Ash sighed impatiently.

James noticed and decided to tease him. He grinded his hips against the younger boys and Ash moaned loudly. James shushed him, "You have to be quiet. Jessie and Meowth are in the tent right next to ours." He said.

"Sorry." Ash said.

James nodded and continued grinding their hips together. Ash moaned quietly, "Still too loud?" He asked James.

"No, your good." James said, his hand made it's way downwards towards Ash's member and he stroked it. Ash gasped and moaned at the feeling. James continued to fondle and play with Ash's now erect member.

James took off his boxers and tossed them aside. "Spread your legs." he told Ash. Ash blushed but did as he was told. James put a finger in Ash's entrance.

"James?" Ash asked.

"Just relax." James said putting another finger in.

Ash tried to relax but it felt really weird to have James fingers there. He flinched as James spread his fingers apart, stretching him.

"Are you ok?" he asked. Ash nodded. James put a third finger in and Ash moaned in pleasure and pain. James pulled his fingers out and positioned himself at Ash's entrance.

"You ready?" He asked. Ash nodded.

"This might hurt." James said.

"I know." Ash said.

"I don't have any condoms."

"It's fine just do it!" Ash said. He was getting impatient again. James started to enter Ash "James it hurts."

James pushed all the way in and Ash cried out in pain. James stopped his movements for Ash to adjust to the feeling. "You can move now." Ash told him.

James started thrusting into him and Ash moaned loudly, bringing his hips up to meet James's thrusts. "Be quiet " James said between thrusts.

"James harder!" Ash yelled. James complied and Ash was having trouble staying quiet. "Ahhh .Oh God! JAMES!" Ash screamed his lovers name.

Focusing on how good it was feeling. He forgot about trying to be quiet. James didn't seem to mind though, he was also caught up in the heat of the moment. "James, I'm gonna ." James nodded.

"Me too." He said. Ash moaned at a hard thrust aimed directly at his prostate. James thrust into the same place and Ash screamed as he came.

James thrust a few more times before coming inside of Ash. "James.." Ash said. James smiled and pulled out of him. "I'm tired." Ash said.

"Get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow." James said.

"Okay I love you." Ash said.

"I love you too." James said. He crawled into Ash's sleeping bag with him and they fell asleep.

The Next Morning:

"Jess do you think James and Ash are still sleeping?" Meowth asked stuffing his face with a piece of dry bread.

"Yes. Go wake them up."

Meowth sighed and walked into the boy's tent and gasped at the sight he saw. James was sleeping next to Ash, and their clothes were not on their bodies but on the floor of the tent. "What did they do last night?" He wondered.

He decided to wake James up and ask him. He walked up to a naked sleeping James and shook him till he woke up. "MEOWTH? What are you doing in here?" James asked surprised.

"Jessie told me to wake you two up. What did you guys do last night?" Meowth asked.

"That Is none of your business!" James snapped.

"Looks to me like you two hooked up." Meowth said.

"So what if we did?"

"Then I'm telling Jessie." Meowth said with a taunting grin.

"No don't. You know she has a crush on me. If you tell her she'll lash out at Ash." James said.

"Doesn't she know your gay?" Meowth asked.

" I told her but she doesn't want to accept it." James said.

"So you just hooked up with the twerp?" Meowth asked.

"I've actually loved him for a very long time, this is going to be more than a one-night stand." James told Meowth.

"Since when do you love him? How would you even pull off a relationship?" Meowth asked seriously.

"I've loved him for a long time. You can't tell anyone Meowth. Really you can't. I don't know how were going to pull off a relationship but we will. Don't say anything, please Meowth." James said. "Were you even gonna tell me about this?" Meowth asked.

"Eventually .maybe. But I really don't want anyone finding out." James said.

"Fine your secrets safe with me, I'm gonna get out of here before he wakes up. You need to wake him up though and we have to get going. Boy it's gonna be awkward trying to steal your boyfriends pokemon.." Meowth said before leaving the tent. James got up and got dressed. Then he went to wake Ash up.

"Hey Ash time to wake up." James said.

"Thanks for waking me up." Ash said.

"No problem baby, I love you." James said and kissed Ash. Ash got out of bed and got dressed.

"That's why you started wearing that jacket all the time." James said. Realization coming to him suddenly.

"What?" Ash asked.

"You started wearing that jacket because you cut?" James asked.

"Yeah I don't want my friends to see the cuts so I hide them with the jacket." Ash said.

"Did you get rid of my drugs yet?" Ash asked.

"No. I'm going to before we head out though."

"Can I have just one hit of " Ash started.

"NO! I'm going to get rid of them right now." James said leaving the tent.

"Wait here." He told Ash.

Ash waited for James to return and ten minutes later he returned empty handed.

"What did you do with them?" Ash asked.

"I crushed them and threw the remains in the river.

"James we have to drink that water." Ash said.

"It might not have been the smartest thing to do." James said. "But their gone now."

"That's just awesome." Ash said sarcastically.

"Hey, no attitude kid." James said.

"Don't call me kid I'm your boyfriend. I can have attitude if I want." Ash said.

"Haha Ok." James said pulling Ash close for a kiss. "Last night was amazing." He said.

"It really was." Ash agreed.

"Let's get going now. I'm sure your friends and Pikachu are getting worried." James said.

Ash nodded and they went to go see Jessie. "Hey Jess" James said. "Ready?" he asked.

"I was waiting for you two." She said.

They packed up camp and headed off.

"I really hate how we have to spend time with the twerp, don't you James?" She asked.

"I guess.' James said.

"Twerp once we find your friends were going to have a huge Pokemon battle that WILL result in us capturing Pikachu." Jessie said.

"In your dreams- Ha! Not even then." Ash laughed.

"Kid you'll see. We will destroy you!" Jessie said fixing her hair.

"Did you do something to your hair Jessie?" James asked.

"I'm using a new hairspray, can you tell?"

"I can. Your hair looks nice." He said.

"Thanks James." Jessie said blushing.

Ash rolled his eyes James noticed and smiled.

"HEY ASH!" Ash , James, Jessie and Meowth looked over and saw Cilan and Iris running towards him.

"Hey guys." Ash said.

"Ash are you ok? " Iris asked. Ash nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine." He said.

"Okay! Enough talk! Time to battle!" Jessie roared. Everyone assumed their battle positions.

Once the fight started James pulled Ash to the side without anyone noticing.

"Well, looks like were about to go." James said. "Yeah." Ash said sadly. "Do you have a cell phone?" James asked. "Yeah. " Ash said.

"Give me your number." James said. They exchanged numbers.

"I'll see you later ok?" James said.

"Ok love." Ash said.

"Love you too." James said. They went back out to the battle were team rocket has just lost. Then Pikachu blasted them off.

A/N So that was the first chapter. Was going to be a one-shot but I think it will be better as a story. This idea just came to me somehow. Now this is my first time writing a story like this and I hope I did a good job. Reviews are appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two! It was easier to write than the first chapter. Review, Review, Review!**

Ash , Cilan and Iris were walking down a path towards Raimon town, Cilan and Iris were holding hands and Pikachu was on Ash's shoulder. Ash felt his phone vibrate form his pocket indicating he had a text message.

**James: I miss you.**

Ash read the text and Smiled.

**Ash: I miss you too.**

**James: Where are you now?**

**Ash: Heading toward Raimon Town.**

**James: Awesome! Were heading there too. Think you'll be able to meet me at the pokemon Center around nine?**

**Ash: Yea! Can't wait to see you. **

**James: Same here. I gtg but I'll text you later, I love you. **

Ash put his phone back in his pocket.

"Pikapi?" Pikachu asked and Ash noticed the Pokemon peering over his shoulder.

"Were you reading over my shoulder, Pikachu that was a private conversation!" Ash scolded.

Pikachu nodded it's head. "Pi?"

"Yes Pikachu it's James from team rocket." Ash said because he knew that's what Pikachu was wondering.

Pikachu looked shocked.

"It's alright we love each other." Ash told Pikachu. Pikachu didn't look convinced. He shook his head rapidly and hopped off of Ash's shoulder.

"Pikapi Pi, Pika!"

"I don't know what you just said but he's a really great guy. To bad it has to stay a secret."

Pikachu frowned and shook his head as if he was saying he didn't approve.

"Sorry Pikachu but this is one time where I don't care about your opinion." Ash said.

"What are you two talking about?" Cilan asked from ahead of them.

"Uh-Nothing." Ash said not wanting them to know about him and James just yet.

"Hey Ash do you want to stop for the night or continue going?" Cilan asked.

"WE GOTTA KEEP GOING!" Ash shouted, Cilan jumped back.

"Whoa okay…you don't have to shout. We'll get to the pokemon center eventually." He said.

"I know but I want to get there tonight." Ash said.

"Any particular reason?" Cilan asked.

'_Yes, my boyfriend that you don't know about is going to be there. '_ Ash thought to himself.

"I would really appreciate a hot shower." Ash lied.

"Ha! So would I." Cilan said. He walked back to where Ash and Pikachu were.

"Ash do you think me and Iris could get a room together and you could have your own room? I really want to spend some alone time with her." Cilan asked.

"Sure I don't mind." Ash said, now he can spend time with James in his room.

"Thanks, I think tonight is the night were finally going to…you know." Cilan said suggestively .

"You haven't done it yet?" Ash asked.

"No. I'm actually still a virgin. What about you have you ever done it?" Cilan asked.

"Yeah I have."

"Aren't you gay?"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I can't have sex."

"How? Where do you put your thing?" Cilan asked making Ash blush.

"Um…do some research okay? I don't really want to be the one to explain this to you." Ash said awkwardly.

Cilan laughed. "Okay dude. Hey look! There's the city." He said. "

Cilan were here!" Iris said excitedly running to hug her boyfriend.

"Yep, now lets go find the pokemon center." Ash said looking at the time on his cell phone. 7:45. This gave him enough time to shower and eat before he saw James.

When they found the pokemon center they got two rooms like Cilan had planned.

Ash went off to his while they went off to theirs. "Meet us downstairs in thirty minutes to eat." Iris said. Ash nodded and went into his room.

He opened his book bag looking for something nice to wear when he saw James. He decided on a pair of dark jeans and a tight black t-shirt and a sweater.

He went to go take a shower while Pikachu took a nap. When he was finished he got dressed and put his hat and jacket on. He smiled at his reflection, he was the definition of sexy.

He looked at the time. It was time to meet Cilan and Iris. He woke Pikachu and they went downstairs.

"Ready to eat guys?" Ash asked with his stomach growling.

"Sure are. Ash you look good, Have a hot date?" Iris joked as she noticed that Ash was all dressed up for a dinner at the Pokemon Center.

"I just wanted to look nice." Ash lied.

They ordered their food and ate until they were full. Then stood up.

"Ready to go back?" Cilan asked.

"Could you take Pikachu back for me, I want to take a walk around the neighborhood." Ash lied.

He sure was telling a bunch of lies.

"Sure thing, just give us your room key so we can put Pikachu in your room." Iris said.

Ash handed her the key and they left. Ash went outside to wait for James.

Ash got a text:

**James: Are you here yet?**

**Ash: Yes I'm in front of the Pokemon Center.**

**James: Okay I'll be there in a second.**

Ash put his phone away and waited for James. "Hey gorgeous." Someone said from behind him. He turned around to see James.

"Hey." Ash walked up to him and gave him a kiss.

"You look nice." James said.

"Thanks. Let's go back to my room." Ash said and James obediently followed Ash to his room.

They got up to Ash's room, Pikachu was already there sleeping on the floor. "Don't mind Pikachu, he knows about us." Ash said.

"Where are the other two?" James asked.

"They got their own room."

Ash sat on the bed and motioned for James to sit next to him. Ash took his sweater off, he didn't feel the need to hide his scars from James.

"Are you still cutting?" James asked.

"I'm trying to quit. Whenever I get the urge to cut I'll usually just draw a picture or train Pokemon. You know, anything other than cutting but sometimes…like late at night. It's just not that easy."

"You can do it. Your stronger than the knife, or the razor. You don't need to cut."

"I'm trying, I'm really trying." Ash said.

"Try harder."

Ash nodded.

"I will…. So what do you wanna do?" Ash asked.

"We could do this…" James said leaning over to kiss Ash. Suddenly he felt a jolt of electricity surge through him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" James yelled.

"Are you okay?" Ash asked.

"Yeah..was that Pikachu?"

"Yeah I think." Ash said looking over at Pikachu who had woken up from his nap.

Pikachu was In a corner laughing. Ash called Pikachu over,

"Pikachu that wasn't funny."

"Pikapi Pi!"

"I told you we were together…" Ash said.

"You can understand him?" James asked.

"I can get the gist of what he's saying."

"I guess Pikachu doesn't approve." James said.

"I'm sorry James."

"Are you gonna break up with me?" James asked.

"Are you high?" .Ash asked.

"No…"

"No I'm not breaking up with you. Pikachu can just deal with it."

Pikachu put on a pout face and went into the bathroom.

James kissed Ash again and Ash leaned into the kiss.

"I really missed you James." Ash said starting to remove his shirt but James stopped him.

"You don't want to?"

"It's not that I don't want to. I just don't want this relationship to be based on sex." James said.

"So were not having sex?" Ash asked.

"Not tonight." James said.

"What do you want to do then?"

"Why don't we just talk? How was your day?" James asked.

"It was okay. Really boring." Ash said.

"What did you do?" James asked.

"Walked, talked with Iris and Cilan and now I'm with you."

"Is being with me boring?" James asked. "No. I like being with you." Ash said.

"So Pikachu knows were dating, I have a confession to make." James said.

"What?" Ash asked.

"Meowth knows were dating." James said.

"Did he tell anyone?"

"No, he promised not to." .

"Thank god!" Ash said.

Ash got up and started taking his pants off. "

What are you doing? I told you not tonight." James said.

"I'm just taking my pants off. I have boxers on underneath." Ash said.

"Why are you taking your pants off?" James asked.

"I'm hot." Ash said.

"You really are." James said. "You know maybe you should take your shirt off." James said seductively.

Ash complied.

"And your boxers?" James asked. "That would leave me naked."

Ash pointed out. "That's the point." James said.

Ash took his boxers off and laid down on the bed.

"Your body is so beautiful." James said.

Ash smiled. "Kiss me James."

. James kissed Ash. He kissed Ash's stomach and Ash gasped at the feeling.

James kissed his way down and took Ash's member into his mouth. Ash threw his head back and arched his back.

He moaned as James's tongue swirled around the head. "James…aah.." Ash moaned.

James started to bob his head up and down and Ash moaned, writhing and squirming with pleasure.

James could tell Ash was close when he started tugging on his hair. James tongued the slit and it sent Ash over the edge.

He arched his back as he came in James's mouth. James swallowed the offering and handed Ash his boxers off the floor.

"You didn't have to do that James."

"I wanted to. Maybe one day you'll do the same for me." .

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. "Ash it's me Cilan! I want to talk to you!" Ash gulped and got dressed.

"One second." Ash said.

"I gotta hide." James said.

Ash nodded.

"The bathroom. Go hide in there." Ash said.

James nodded and went in the bathroom. "Come in." Ash told Cilan.

He came in. "What's up?" Ash asked.

"Well I tried to get Iris to sleep with me but everything failed and she broke up with me! She said she was feeling pressured!" Cilan cried.

"I'm sorry dude. Talk to her, maybe you two can make up." Ash said.

"Yeah I hope so. I really want-" Cilan started. They heard an electric shock come from the bathroom.

Cilan ran towards the bathroom. "Ash James from Team Rocket is in the bathroom!" He yelled.

"What happened?" Ash asked.

"Well Pikachu was sleeping he woke up and saw me and he shocked me." James said.

"I'm calling the cops and they'll arrest you for breaking and entering." Cilan said to James.

"No Cilan don't." Ash said.

"Your defending him?" Cilan asked.

"I can explain."

"This better be good." Cilan said, crossing his arms and looking from Ash to James.

**A/N**

**Review Please!**


	3. Chapter 3

"This better be good." Cilan said, looking at Ash and James.

Ash looked to James for any sign of support, but James was silent.

"Me and James are dating." Ash said finally.

"YOUR WHAT?" Cilan shouted.

"Were dating."

"Ash I know your gay but I didn't know you were stupid too." Cilan said.

"I'm not stupid." Ash said defensively, even though Ash knew Cilan didn't mean the insult and was just saying that out of anger, it still hurt to be called stupid especially by one of his friends.

"James…really? He's probably only using you. You might be happy now Ash, but soon he'll be asking you for Pokemon, and food and money-he might even ask you for Pikachu!" Cilan said.

"He wouldn't do that." Ash said.

"If he did, what would you say?" Cilan asked.

When Ash didn't say anything Cilan shook his head and looked at James. "Do you have anything to say about this? Is it true are you really dating?" he asked.

James nodded. "Yes were dating, and I would never ask Ash for Pikachu, if I want Pikachu from him I'd steal him fair and square." James said.

"I thought that nonsense of you trying to steal Pikachu was over?' Ash asked.

"I love you baby , but I really want that Pikachu."

"This is disgusting." Cilan said not liking the current situation at all.

"How is it disgusting?" Ash asked him.

"You…and….James….what were you two doing before I came up here anyways?" Cilan asked.

Ash blushed and moved close towards James. "We were just talking!" he said.

"I'm sure." Cilan said rolling his eyes.

"Why is that any of your business anyways?"

"It's not his business." James said. Ash nodded in agreement.

Ash reached towards James, James could tell he was nervous so he grabbed his hand and held it. Cilan made a gagging noise.

"Really? I'd rather you date one of my brothers! Anyone but him Ash. ANYONE!" Cilan yelled.

"It's not up to you." Ash said.

Suddenly the door opened again. And Iris came into the room.

"Cilan I heard you yelling what's going on?" Iris asked.

She looked from Cilan to Ash to James and then back to Cilan.

"What's going on?" She asked again.

"Ash and James are dating."

"Really?"

Cilan nodded.

Iris was quiet for a moment and just when Ash thought she was starting to get angry, she let out a loud squeal.

"Finally! I thought you were going to be alone forever-no offense Ash." Iris said.

"You approve?" Cilan asked with a shocked look on his face and obvious displeasure in his voice . Iris nodded.

"Love is love Cilan." Iris said.

Cilan scoffed.

"I don't approve at all." He said.

"Well you don't have to be a part of it" Ash pointed out.

Cilan realized he wasn't getting through to Ash and sighed. "I don't mind that you have a boyfriend. I just mind who your boyfriend is. So if your hanging out with him, your not hanging out with me."

"Fine, whatever." Ash said as Cilan left the room.

"Well me and Cilan have some things to talk about. Did he tell you?" Iris asked. Ash nodded.

"Yeah, he didn't mean it. Whatever he did, he didn't mean it."

Iris laughed. "I know and I'm happy for you. I'm sure Cilan will come to his senses and be happy for you to. Give him time." she said. Ash nodded.

"I will."

Even though he was mad at his friend he knew him and Cilan would resolve their differences soon enough and Cilan would learn to accept Ash, after all he accepted the fact Ash was gay. So he could accept him and James.

"Okay. Well I'll leave you to alone now.." Iris said and Pikachu followed her out of the room.

When the door was closed Ash collapsed onto the bed. "I'm sorry about that." Ash said.

James nodded and sat down next to Ash.

"It's fine. But…now that they know is it ok if I tell Jessie? She's my best friend." James asked.

"I thought you said she had a crush on you."

"I did. She does. But maybe if I tell her about us, she'll back off."

"I guess that's a possibility." Ash said. "Sure tell Jessie."

James smiled and kissed Ash on the cheek. "What do you want to do now?" he asked.

"You want to play a game?"

"Sure." James agreed.

"Okay. Twenty questions." Ash said.

"Not exactly the game I had in mind but ok." James said.

"I'll go first, it'll be fun" Ash said eagerly. "Um…Okay. What's your favorite swear word?"

"It's fuck. My turn!" James laughed.

"Okay ask away."

" What is your full name?" James asked. "Is it just Ash or what?"

"My full name is Satoshi Ashton Ketchum." Ash said turning red. He absolutely hated his full name. _Satoshi? _He couldn't help but wonder what his mom was thinking when she named him that.

"I can see why you prefer Ash." James laughed.

"Can you name the five most important things in your life?" Ash questioned.

"Is that your question?" James asked. Ash nodded.

"Okay, well number five would be my bottle cap collection, number four would be my Pokemon- including Meowth. Number three would be my job definitely. Number two Jessie and number one you." James said.

"I'm number one?" Ash asked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't you be? I mean you don't think I've followed you around all these years for your Pikachu do you?" James asked.

"Well…I just thought-" Ash started.

"It's my turn." James said.

"FINE" Ash huffed.

"What three physical features would you say you get the most compliments on?" James asked.

"Um…my hair, my eyes and my body." Ash said.

"You do have a nice body."

"I know. " Ash said smugly.

"Just ask your next question." James snapped.

"Jealous much?" Ash asked still with that smug smile on his face.

"Ha! You wish, and you just wasted a question." James laughed.

"No! I want a do-over!" Ash said.

"No do-over's. You must live with your mistake!" James yelled, his voice full of sarcasm.

"UUUGH! ASK YOUR QUESTION ALREADY JAMES!"

"Okay, um…why do you wear that hat all the time?" James asked.

"Well I had to work really hard to get this hat in the first place, and it's been with me since the beginning of my journey. So it means a lot to me."

James looked up at Ash's hat. He desperately wanted to take it off and run his hands through Ash's hair, like he did when they were making love. He wanted to see Ash's hair just hang free-without the hat for once.

"Do you want me to take my hat off?" Ash asked as if he was reading his partners mind.

"Yeah, actually I do."

Ash hesitated before reaching his hand up and grabbing his hat off his head. He set it beside him on the bed.

"Okay well…it's off." Ash said.

James looked at Ash's hair, it was messy, cute but messy. James always had his hair combed and neat. He was a bit obsessed when it came to his looks. Jessie and Meowth had both pointed out how vain he could be at some times. He reached his hand up and ran it through Ash's hair.

Ash sat on the bed awkwardly as James was touching his hair. "It's just hair, what's the big deal?" Ash asked.

James, still playing with Ash's hair, shrugged. "It's been hidden under that hat for so long, I've never really seen you without it. It's kind of intimate if you think of it." James said.

"How is it intimate?"

"Your letting me see a part of you other people aren't familiar with. Your hair- and you were willing to do it. Makes me wonder what else you'll do for me if I asked you to." James said with a mischievous tone to voice and adding a wink to the end of the sentence.

"Don't get any ideas!" Ash laughed.

James stopped playing with his hair and kissed Ash's forehead. "James…"

"Yes?" he said smirking.

"Your trying to turn me on. Running your hands through my hair…Kissing me…talking about intimacy."

"At first I wasn't but then I saw the cute look on your face when I was touching your hair, and when I kissed you."

"Do we have time?" Ash asked.

James looked at his watch and then checked his cell phone for messages. He had some from Jessie asking where he was and when he'd be back He knew she would come looking pretty soon. He turned his attention back towards Ash.

"_Unfortunately we don't. Jessie is wondering where I am. Now you see why I want to tell her about us, if she knew she wouldn't wonder where I was and I would be able to spend more time with you." _

_Ash nodded. _

"_I understand. Tell her, but next time I want at least a couple hours with you." He said._

"_I'll see what I can do babe." James said and stood up to go. _

"_No kiss goodbye?" Ash asked. James smiled and leaned over the bed to kiss his boyfriend goodbye._


	4. Chapter 4

"Next time I want at least a couple hours with you." Ash said to his boyfriend.

James nodded. "I know, I know. I really do have to go now though. I love you." He kissed Ash on the cheek before standing up to leave.

"Bye...text me or call me or something. I want to know how Jessie reacts when you tell her were dating."

"I can imaine there's going to be a lot of screaming and what not." James felt his phone vibrate, he looked down at the message.

**Get your lazy ass back to camp! Where the hell are you? We need to discuss stealing Pikachu!**

"I really have to get back now. Apparently were having a meeting about stealing Pikachu."

"Oh geez. Can't miss that now can you?" Ash laughed. "Bye babe."

James kissed Ash once again and left. He took the elevator and texted Jessie back.

**Sorry, went to eat dinner at the Pokemon Center. I'm on my way back now. **

He regretted sending that as soon as he hit send. He should have come up with a diffrent lie. Now he's not getting anything to eat tonight since Jessie thinks he already ate.

He gave an unhappy sigh as he stepped foot into the campsite.

"Hey Jessie, Meowth! I'm back!"

"We held the meeting without you. We decided to wait until morning then set a trap."

"Yes because that works out so well." James said sarcastically. Jessie glared at him.

"Do _you _have a better?" she asked.

He actually did. He had a million better ideas...

"He's staying at the Pokemon center Room 13B, his friends got a seperate room so it's just him and Pikachu. All his other Pokemon are getting treated tonight by Nurse Joy. Ash is a heavy sleeper...and with him knocked out all we have to do is nab Pikachu."

"How we gonna do that?" Jessie asked.

"Do we still have that shock-proof net?" He asked. Jessie nodded.

"We'll use that." He said grinning at the genious idea that was his own plan.

"You know what James...that was actually a pretty good idea."

"I know right!"

"How did you know what room the twerp was staying in?"

Meowth looked over from the log he was sitting on. He knew James was actually with Ash.

"Well, I can explain that."

"Ok."

"I was kind of in his room earlier."

"Why? Were you trying to steal Pikachu without us?" Jessie wondered. James shook his head. Meowth covered his ears. He knew once James told her, Jessie was going to scream.

"No I was kind of...giving him a blowjob."

Meowth's eyes widened and let out a confused, frustrated, agitated scream.

"REPEAT THAT PLEASE?" Jessie screamed.

"I was giving him a blowjob."

"James, that better be part of your plan. If it's not then i'll-"

"You'll what Jessie?" James asked, interrupting her.

"I will tell the boss that your betraying Team Rocket."

"How the fuck am I betraying Team Rocket?"

"Your practically joined forces with the enemy. What I go to his room tonight and you capture me and Meowth and have us thrown in Jail. No way James!"

"Jes, Just because i'm dating Ash doesn't mean i'm not going to try and steal his Pikachu!"

"I don't believe you."

"What will it take for you to believe that i'm still part of Team Rocket?"

"Break up with Ash."

"Besides that, that's not happening. I love him."

"Since when are you gay?" Jessie asked.

"I've always been gay, I just never told you because Meowth told me you had a crush on me. Though you have a funny way of showing affection..."

"I was never shown affection as a child, you know that." Jessie said.

James looked to Meowth for help considering the fact they were getting off topic. Meowth stood up.

"Jessie just tell James what you want him to do."

"I want him to...um...kill a wild Pokemon."

"Jessie! That's positively evil!" James gasped.

"That's the point."

"I can't do it. Killing Pokemon is illegal-"

"Were Pokemon theives."

"Killing Pokemon is immoral-"

"We have no morals."

"Killing Pokemon is wrong-"

"Were Team Rocket and we fight for what is wrong." Jessie said.

James knew Jessie had won this battle. Not doing this would mean he would a traitor to Team Rocket...but if he did it and Ash found out then he would never forgive him.

**CLIFFHANGER!**

**WILL HE DO IT? **

**A/N: I didn't want to have James do something super evil but how else was he supposed to prove he was still dedicated to the Team Rocket organization? Just clearing this up in case you guys are confused:**

**He has to do evil, to prove he's evil. **

**That's why he's been asked to kill a Pokemon! How could anyone kill one of those cute little creatures? I wonder if he'll do it. You'll have to wait and see!**


	5. Chapter 5

James knew he had to tell Ash, because if Ash found out about him killing a wild Pokemon from someone else...well, it probably wouldn't be pretty. Ash loves Pokemon and he knew that telling Ash was going to spark some sort of fight but it's better than not telling him and then risking the possibility of breaking up.

"Oh god! JAMES!...fuck" Ash breathed.

James tried to concentrate on Ash. He felt guilty thinking about fighting with him while they were having sex...James looked away from Ash and his movements slowed down, and then he stopped and pulled out.

"James?" Ash asked.

"Sorry, i'm just not into this right now. You can finish yourself off." James got dressed and picked himself up off of the cold, wet forest ground. Not the ideal place for making love but at least it was a swampy area so the ground was soft.

Ash sat up and got dressed as well. He wasn't really into masturbation and he was curious as to why James stopped.

"Whats up?" he asked James, standing up next to him.

James turned away from him and shrugged. He sighed in frustration when he felt Ash grab his shoulders and turned him to look at him.

"Whats up?" Ash repeated.

James looked at the ground avoiding eye contact. He didn't want to talk to Ash about this at all, he knew it would hurt him, he knew Ash would try to stop him, but he couldn't have that. He made up his mind and tonight he was killing a wild Pokemon. Ash wouldn't uderstand. He loved Ash...but when he pledged loyalty to Team Rocket he meant it. James now knew what had to happen, and he didn't want to have to do it, but he needed to protect Team Rocket and he had to protect Ash. He finally looked up at Ash.

"Ash, i'm breaking up with you." he said.

"You're kidding, right?" Ash asked.

"I wish I was, but I can't do this anymore.."

"Why?"

"I don't want to explain it." James said. He knew it was mean to break up with Ash without explanation, but he couldn't tell Ash with him getting anymore upset than he already was.

"How can you break up with me and not give me any explanation! That's not fair!" Ash yelled.

"I don't have to explain myself." James said, he turned away from Ash again and started walking in the direction of camp. Ash grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"James! Please don't break up with me! You said you loved me!"

"Ash you're making this harder than it has to be."

"At least tell me what I did wrong!" Ash said. He wiped a few stray tears away from his face. James sighed.

Ash was trying to get him to stay, it was making it really difficult to break up with him.

_I can't tell him the real reason, but maybe if I lie to him..._ James thought.

"Ash, i'm cheating on you."

Ash let go of his hand and stepped back, new tears forming.

"You're just not what I want anymore, and you're bad in bed." James lied again.

He turned around and started walking away again, but this time Ash didn't try to stop him.

**A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! Not what you were expecting huh? But don't worry, It will get better. WARNING: Next chapter will also be sad. What? I didn't say it would get better quickly. lol. **


	6. Chapter 6

Ash watched James walk away sadly. He waited for thirty minutes before he gave up on waiting for James to come back and left, he turned around and headed back towards the Pokémon Center. He tried not to cry, but it was inevitable. The Pokémon Center came into view and he stomped through the door, his emotions conflicting. He felt angry, but upset, confused, hurt and crying. He passed Cilan and Iris.

"Ash! Hey!" Cilan yelled out, waving to Ash.

Ash walked past Cilan and Iris and went into the elevator that would take him upstairs. Cilan looked at Iris, confused and a bit worried.

"Is he ok? He was crying…" Iris said.

Pikachu perked up when he heard Iris mention Ash crying. Who had hurt his _Pikapi_?

The elevator doors closed before Iris and Cilan could catch up to him by the time they had gathered up all the Pokémon, walked up the stairs, and arrived at Ash's room his door was locked. Cilan knocked on it. No one answered.

"Ash…" Iris called from outside the door.

Ash lay down on his bed inside listening to his friends try to get him to open the door. His phone vibrated and thinking it might be James changing his mind, Ash looked at the text message. It wasn't from James, but Cilan instead.

Cilan: Ash, Iris is really worried about you…she said she's going to climb in through the window if you don't open the door…

Ash: Thanks for the warning. I'm locking the windows. Why can't you guys understand I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!

Cilan: I'm calling you.

Ash rolled his eyes and picked up the phone.

"Leave me alone, stop texting me."

"Ash, cut the crap. What's wrong with you?"

"Right now? You…" Ash said hanging up the phone.

"ASH! GET UP! I HATE BEING IGNORED!" Iris yelled, Pikachu on her shoulder. Ash looked up in annoyance.

"I cannot believe you climbed through the fucking window…"

"Well believe it! Now tell me, what's wrong. I won't judge, I promise." Iris said.

Ash looked into her eyes, they were full of concern and worry.

"James broke up with me…" he said.

"What?! Why?" Iris asked.

"He said I'm not what he wants, and I'm bad at sex…and he was seeing someone else."

"Oh, Ash I'm sorry. I know how happy you were…Do you know who he was seeing? I would just love to beat the living shit out of them. Being with someone who already has a boyfriend is so low." Iris said.

"No, I don't know. He didn't tell me. Obviously their better than me though, or he wouldn't have been cheating on me."

"Ash…James is stupid. You're a great guy. I'm not sure about the sex thing, but you can't be that bad. You'll find someone else, someone who deserves you!"

"HE DOES DESERVE ME! I DON'T DESERVE HIM!" Ash shouted sitting up on the bed. Iris jumped back, surprised at his tone of voice.

"Ash! He cheated on you! He steals Pokémon, he's a criminal and he's worthless…you can do better! YOU HAVE DONE BETTER!" Iris shouted back. Ash layed back.

"Iris…I'm sorry. I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you Cilan and Pikachu." Ash said.

"You were upset. Now I'm going to let Cilan in is that alright?"

Ash nodded silently and she opened the door. Cilan stepped in.

"So what the fuck is wrong with you?" Cilan asked.

"James broke up with him. He cheated on him." Iris said.

Cilans expression softened, and he put an arm around Ash's shoulders.

"I'm sorry."

"No…you're not. You hated him from the start and you wanted us to break up. Well…you got your wish."

Cilan was surprised at Ash's harsh tone.

"I didn't want you to break up like this…I wanted you to realize he was a lowlife and dump him. I never wanted him to break your heart." Cilan said.

Iris moved him out of the way.

"What Cilan is trying to say is, what's done is done. You can't erase the past, but you can start over. James doesn't know what he's missing out on."

Ash had stopped crying at this point. He still felt miserable, but he wasn't crying anymore. He felt Pikachu nuzzle up close to him and he hugged him. It was comforting.

"Guys, do you mind if I just take some time to myself right now?" Ash asked.

"Are you sure?" Cilan asked.

"I just need to think and maybe get some rest." Ash said.

"I understand." Iris said, she stood up and pulled Cilan out of the room with her.

"It takes a girl to understand me…" Ash laughed sadly. He sat up and looked out the window, wondering what James was doing right now.

"Maybe he's with that other person, the one he cheated on me with. He's probably laughing and enjoying himself. The other guy probably gives great blow jobs and he's probably extremely good looking and not some sixteen year old kid with a hat." Ash said to Pikachu who he was still hugging close. He had started crying again as he thought about the kind of guy James was with.

Pikachu hated seeing his best friend upset like this. He couldn't do anything to make him feel better either, and that's what made Pikachu the most upset.

"Do you think he feels bad about breaking up with me?" Ash asked Pikachu.

"Pi, Pi, Pikachu."

(If he has a conscience),

"I don't know what you just said buddy, but I imagine you're just agreeing with me when I say he doesn't feel the least bit upset.

"PI!" Pikachu shook his head frantically.

(NO!)

"How could you think otherwise? I didn't see him crying tears over me." Ash said.

Pikachu didn't say anything after that, he just let Ash hold him and cry.

"Pikachu…are you sleeping?" Ash asked. He didn't get an answer so he assumed he was, he moved Pikachu off of him and went to his bag.

"_You're stronger than the knife or the razor, you don't need to cut." _

Ash took a blade out of his bag, it wasn't one he ever used for anything except for self-harm. He had gotten it from Brock as a birthday present one year. Looking over at Pikachu he went into the bathroom and took his shirt off.

"First, he tells me I shouldn't cut, then he takes my drugs away, then he fucking dumps me…who the hell does he think he is?" Ash shouted and he brought the knife down across his wrist. It hurt, but his emotions were getting the best of him. His mind wasn't registering the fact that the pain meant stop, he was so angry and upset.

"PIKAPI!" Pikachu yelled from the doorway of the bathroom, he had walked in when he heard Ash yelling.

"Pikachu…." Ash said before he saw black.


	7. Chapter 7

Ash woke up in a white room, he heard beeping and people crying and talking.

"We shouldn't have left him alone!" He heard Iris saying.

"It's not your fault. He brought this on himself, you thought you were helping. Don't be too hard on yourself." He heard Cilan say.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Iris asked.

"I sure hope so." Cilan said.

A few minutes later he heard them leave the room and his mother entered he heard them talk about his condition and the doctor assured her he would be alright.

"Hey…" Ash croaked.

They turned their heads toward Ash, his mother pushed past the doctor and pulled him into a hug.

"You're alright!" she cried.

"I told you he would be." The doctor said.

Delia smiled and wiped tears away from her eyes, "Ash you're grounded! You scared me to death! I thought I was going to lose you." She said, still holding Ash in her arms.

There was a knock on the door, and after they got permission Brock, Misty, May, Max, Cilan and Iris came into the room.

"You sure do have a lot of friends." The doctor noted, "Just make sure to leave by 10 pm. That's when visiting hours are over." The doctor said and left.

"Ash you are so stupid." Misty said, giving him a hug, "I don't see you in four years and you do this. Do it again and see if I don't bring my mallet out." She laughed.

"I missed you buddy." Brock said and May and Max said something about missing him too. Max showed off his badges that he had collected since becoming a trainer. Everyone told him how proud they were of him.

Ash apologized to Cilan and Iris, and got their forgiveness. They were all having a good time, until visiting hours were over and they had to leave.

"Bye guys!" Ash said.

They left, Brock and Misty were going back to Kanto, which is where Ash would be going after this. He decided he needed to spend some time at home. Max was heading back out on his journey and May decide to join him for a few months, he waved them goodbye and Cilan and Iris said they would see him tomorrow.

Delia was the last to leave, giving him a hug and telling him she would be staying and traveling with him back home.

"Mom…did you really mean it when you said I was grounded?" Ash asked.

"Of course I did honey." She said, and left.

Ash was left alone in the room, he wondered where Pikachu was but his question was answered when Pikachu hopped onto the hospital bed.

"Night, buddy." he said. Pikachu snuggled up to him and Ash smiled letting himself drift off to sleep.

He awoke the next morning to sun pouring in through the window and groaned.

"Still not a morning person?" he heard someone say. He recognized that voice! Ash rubbed his eyes to clear his vision and looked around. He saw Gary standing at the foot of the bed.

"Hey Ashy-boy." He said smiling.

"Why are you here?" Ash asked.

"I wanted to see if you were ok." Gary said sincerely.

"Yeah right…."

"I'm serious! I'm not here to taunt you or to say how stupid you were ok? I've totally been in this situation before."

"You tried to kill yourself?" Ash asked.

"Well no…but I have gotten dumped by my boyfriend before, and I've been cheated on one too many times. So trust me I know how you feel, but nothing is worth ending your life over."

"Funny, that's what he said." Ash said, thinking back to the conversation him and James had the night they decided to start dating.

"_Twerp nothing is worth ending your life over." _

"Forget him! I'm sure you've heard it before but just forget him…how long were you guys dating anyways?" Gary asked.

"A week."

The look on Gary's face said it all. He thought Ash was an idiot.

"A WEEK? YOU TRIED TO END YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF SOMEONE YOU'VE ONLY BEEN DATING A WEEK?!" he yelled.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you can't keep acting so stupid! What if it had worked? What if you were dead right now?"

"Then I wouldn't be so miserable."

Gary slapped him.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE CAME TO SEE IF YOU WERE ALRIGHT?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU WOULD HURT HAD YOU ACTUALLY SUCCEEDED IN KILLING YOUSELF? ALL BECAUSE SOME JACKASS CHEATED ON YOU? GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF! YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS!"

"That's what everyone says…" Ash said quietly.

"Because it's true dumbass. You deserve better."

"No…I don't."

"Do you want to be with someone who cheats on you and makes you so upset you want to kill yourself? Or do you want to be with a loyal man, who would never, hurt you?"

"A loyal man who would never hurt me."

"Was that what your boyfriend was?" Gary asked.

"No…."

"Then yeah, you deserve better."

**A/N: **

**AAAAH! I LOVE GARY! THIS ISN'T THE WAY I WANTED THINGS TO WORK OUT…JAMES AND ASH WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BACK TOGETHER BY NOW…BUT NOW EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. I GOT INSPIRED.**

**THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS ARE DEDICATED TO: **

moonshadowcuteness1


	8. Chapter 8

"Thanks for coming Gary." Ash said.

"Don't mention it. So your mom tells me you're going to back to Kanto for a while after you get out."

Ash nodded, "Yeah. I'm supposed to be grounded, but what I really want is to just take some time to myself."

"Good call. I've been keeping track of you- not because I'm a stalker- but because your mom gets worried. Anyways…your battling is off. You need time to collect your thoughts before you can become one with your Pokémon and start to be successful as a trainer again. I know you're a good trainer, and no doubt one day you'll be a Pokémon Master, but even the best of the best know when they need to take some time off."

Pikachu agreed.

"Thanks for being so supportive. I figured you would be the last person to come and comfort me."

"You're my friend. I might not act like it every time I see you, but I care about you."

Ash reached up and pulled Gary down for a hug.

"You smell good." Ash whispered.

"You're a freak. Don't smell me." Gary laughed. Gary started to relax into the hug but Ash pushed him away.

"Gary, that's a little gay. Don't you think?" He asked with a wink.

"Says the guy who grabbed my ass and tried to cuddle with me EVERYTIME we had a sleepover!" Gary joked.

"Don't pretend you didn't like it." Ash said, playing along.

The two boy's heads turned towards the door as it opened and two people entered,

"Good morning Mrs. Ketchum, Grandpa." Gary said.

"Good morning Gary. Ash how are you feeling?" Professor Oak asked.

"I'm feeling alright. Thanks for asking." Ash said.

Delia hugged Ash, and kissed his cheek. "Do you know when I can leave here?" he asked.

"The doctor said you'll be able to leave here today if your vitals come back normal." Delia said, "Oh! I felt the baby kick!" she giggled.

"She's been like this all morning. I think it's the pregnancy hormones." Professor Oak said,

"When are you due Mrs. Ketchum?" Gary asked.

"December in four months! I hope I have her on Christmas then she can be a Christmas baby!" Delia said excitedly.

"Any ideas for names?"

"I think I'll name her Aimee." Delia said smiling.

"I think that's a wonderful name, Mrs. Ketchum." Gary said. He smiled and felt her stomach.

"You can really feel her kick!" he said, bringing Ash's hand to his mom's stomach. Ash laughed when he did.

"That's cool. I can't wait to meet her." Ash said.

"Me too! You're finally going to have that little sibling you've always wanted."

Ash smiled, it's true he had always wanted a little sibling. It got lonely growing up as the only child sometimes.

One of the nurses came in.

"The doctor said Ash is stable, he is free to go just take it easy." She said and left.


	9. Chapter 9

James closed his tent and cried…again. This has become a usual routine for him, he'd go out, do a mission, try to steal someone's Pokémon, eat dinner with Jesse and Meowth then go in his tent and cry himself to sleep.

"James, this is the third day in a row, go talk to the boy." Meowth said.

"I can't…you weren't there when we broke up. I said the worst things to him, the look on his face…he was so hurt."

"You couldn't have said anything that bad."

"I told him I was cheating on him, I told him he wasn't what I wanted and I told him he was bad at sex." James told Meowth.

"Why did you tell him you were cheating?"

"He kept asking me for a reason as to why I was breaking up with him and I couldn't tell him the truth. He would hate me even more if he knew I had killed an innocent Pidgeotto."

"You proved your loyalty to Team Rocket, why didn't you explain that to him."

"He wouldn't understand. He loves Pokemon. I just miss him so much."

"Well why don't we go try and swipe his Pikachu…that might make you feel better." Meowth suggested.

"How would that make me feel better?" James asked.

"At least you'll get to see him." Meowth said and James agreed. He did want to see Ash's face, this might be the only way…for some reason he wouldn't text or call him back.

"Let's run this by Jessie." James said walking out of the tent with Meowth.

"Run what by me?" Jessie asked walking up to them.

"We was just gonna ask you if it would be okay if we all tried to nab Ash's Pikachu…" Meowth said.

Jessie thought about saying no, but the kid was weak right now. She heard he had tried to commit suicide but failed and when she checked into it, she found out the rumor was true.

"Ash is supposed to be discharged from the hospital today. No doubt Pikachu will be with him, if we hurry, we can catch him on the way out." Jessie said.

"Discharged from the hospital? Why, what happened?" James asked.

"He tried to kill himself, but failed."

"HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF BECAUSE I DUMPED HIM!" James cried.

"Yes, he is rather pathetic isn't he? Getting that upset over a breakup." Jessie said, nonchalantly.

"He's not pathetic…"

"Then why aren't you with him?" Jessie asked.

"It's complicated."

"Yeah well, he tried to end his life over it…I'm gonna be honest with you James. He must have really liked you, and you pulled a dick move by cheating on him, Cheating is low. I hate the kid but still…Were gonna leave as soon as I pack my stuff. BE READY!" Jessie said and walked off.

"She thinks you cheated too?" Meowth asked.

"She overheard me breaking up with him, but I refused to tell her who I cheated with."

Meowth sighed and started packing up.

"You get the tent and I'll get everything else." Meowth said. James took the tent down and Meowth packed their stuff. Jessie finished packing about the same time they did.

It took them about twenty minutes to head back into town. The hospital wasn't that far away. When they got there they saw Iris, Cilan, Ash, Gary, the Professor, and Delia all about to head to the Pokemon Center. Pikachu was perched on Ash's shoulder as usual.

"You guys didn't have to come!" Ash laughed as Cilan and Iris led the way out.

"We love you Ash, and were not going to be seeing you for a while, so we want to be with you as much as possible." Iris said.

"You guys are the best." Ash said, Iris pulled him in for what seemed like the fiftieth hug that day.

"It's time!" Jessie said, emerging from behind the bush they were in.

"Going somewhere?" Jessie asked as she called a Pokemon out.

"Let's go Seviper! Grab that Pikachu!" Jessie yelled.

Seviper headed towards the Pikachu on Ash's shoulder, Gary Jumped in front of him and called on his Umbreon to knock the Seviper out of the way. "Umbreon, tackle!"

Umbreon tackled Seviper and Pikachu came off of Ash's shoulders to help fight.

"Go Carnivine!" James shouted. He threw a Pokeball and Carnivine used vine whip to grab ahold of Pikachu. Umbreon used Take Down and Seviper fainted.

"Ash you need to tell Pikachu to do something." Gary said.

Ash was silent. He stared at James, the guy who had broken his heart and caused him so much trouble was there. Standing in front of him, trying to steal Pikachu, and James was staring right back…

"Ash, he's hurting Pikachu. Focus for a minute!" Gary said.

Ash didn't want to hurt James, he had feelings for him still…

"PIKA!"

Ash shook his head knowing he couldn't stand there lusting over James while Pikachu needed him. He finally shouted out an attack.

"Pikachu, shock the hell out of him!"

Pikachu grinned and fired up for attack. "PIIIKAAACHUUUUU!" He yelled sending shockwaves through Carnivine and then Aiming for James.

James called back Carnivine and started backing away, but not before Pikachu zapped him with his thunderbolt. He could see Ash, but instead of smiling, like you should be after you get back at your ex, he was…upset. Pikachu stopped his electric attacks and stepped back.

"There's more where that came from if you don't leave him alone. He's going through a rough time!" Gary yelled.

Cilan and Iris gave each other a knowing look, fully aware of the situation.

"Gary, I'm fine." Ash said.

"No you're not…look at you. You look like you're about to cry."

Ash shook his head and called Pikachu over, Pikachu sat on Ash's shoulder again.

"Let's just do this another time." Ash said and started walking away. James suddenly ran after him and grabbed his hand.

"Ash, wait! I'm sorry about everything. I deserved that thunder shock, I was a terrible boyfriend, please give me another chance. I love you!"


	10. Chapter 10

"….You love me? Still?" Ash asked.

"Yes, I've been crying every day since. It was a mistake, and if you let me explain things to you I swear I'll never make the same mistake again."

"This is who you were dating…like I said, you could do so much better! Do you want me to handle this?" Gary asked.

"Gary, I can handle this myself. James, you really hurt me, and I don't know if I can forgive that. You just said exactly what I wanted to hear you say, but for some reason, it doesn't feel like it should feel…I don't have the urge to run up to you and kiss you, instead I have this overwhelming urge to have Pikachu shock you again." Ash said.

"I am so sorry, and if I can be honest with you-"

"You should have been honest with me before!"

"I know…" James said.

"I'm not saying that I don't love you anymore, or that I don't want to be with you. I just…I just need some time away from you."

Everyone was silent anticipating James' next move, but he didn't shout. He didn't command a Pokemon to attack anyone, and he certainly didn't cry…at least not in front of everyone. He just turned around and walked away.

Jessie followed him, to surprised to even keep battling. When they were gone everyone looked to Ash for an explanation of what just happened, except for Cilan and Iris who knew about Ash and James.

"I was dating James, and he broke up with me…"

Gary rolled his eyes, "Like we didn't figure that out…but that guy, is no reason to kill yourself."

Ash didn't want to hear any of this right now. He ran ahead of everyone and into the Pokemon Center. He started packing his things.

"_I can't believe I just did that…I'm so stupid…maybe if I go find James now he will still forgive me." Ash thought._

He packed all of his belongings including his Pokemon. He was about to walk out the door when Gary entered.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked eyeing the bag and Ash trying to rush out the door.

"To look for James. I was wrong when I said I needed time away from him." Ash explained trying to move past Gary.

"Ash he cheated on you."

"He apologized."

"He made you feel bad enough to try and commit suicide! There's no way I'm letting you go after him right now, and if I remember correctly…aren't you grounded?"

"No matter what I say, you're not gonna let me go find him are you?" Ash asked.

"That's right. I'm sorry, but I care about you. Don't tell Tracy this, but you're my best friend."

"Why can't I tell Tracy?" Ash asked.

"He's obsessed with me…"

"Ha, okay I won't say anything him."

Gary walked into the room in the Pokemon Center and closed the door behind him.

"Were heading back to Pallet soon, but looks like you have everything all packed up. Everyone else is waiting on the boat. I told them I'd come and get you."

"Boat? What boat?"

"Were taking a boat back to Pallet town. It's a hell of a lot better than walking."

Ash shrugged and picked up his bag again. Gary opened the door and led Ash out of the room.

"How far away is this boat?" Ash asked.

"No more than twenty minutes away walking, but were taking a cab so it should be about five minutes."

"I don't have any money on me."

"I'm paying." Gary said, showing Ash his wallet.

"It's a lot better than walking." Ash said.

"EXACTLY!" Gary said and opened the cab door for Ash, getting in after him.

"Everyone is really worried about you, Tracey is betting you don't come back with me."

"Does he not like me anymore?" Ash asked.

"He's jealous of you."

"Why is he jealous?"

"He thinks I'm in love with you."

"Are you?"

"Do you really want to talk about this now?" Gary asked. Ash thought about it, he knew there used to be some romantic feelings between him and Gary but those were long gone…right?

"We'll talk about it later." He said not wanting to get into this at the moment, he was still exhausted from his earlier encounter with James.

"Ha, alright. Were at the boat anyways." Gary said as the cab slowed down to a stop. He paid the driver and got out holding the door open for Ash.

Ash got out and walked beside Gary onto the boat. He saw his mom and the Professor. Gary rolled his eyes at something and when Ash got closer to the boat he could tell Tracey was there…

"I didn't know Tracey came." Ash said.

"He didn't go to the hospital, someone had to keep an eye on the boat." Gary explained as we boarded the boat.

Delia ran up and gave Ash a bear hug.

"Mom…you're squishing me."

Delia stopped hugging him long enough for him to take a quick breath of air.

"Ready to go home?" she asked.

"Sure…I guess."

"Cheer up Ash." Gary said, patting his shoulder.

"I'll try."

"Hey! Ash!" Tracey said running up to him.

"Hey man, long time no see." Ash said.

"I know right? Crazy how time flies right?" he asked.

"Yeah, how you doing?"

"Pretty good man. Glad to see you're okay."

"Thanks…"

"Tracey, don't you think we should be getting ready to leave?" Gary asked.

"Oh! Yeah, I should go draw the anchor. I'm steering this thing. Pretty cool right?"

"Yeah…it's pretty cool…" Ash said.

Gary smirked as Tracey walked off.

"Pretty lame right?"

"Is he trying to impress you?" Ash asked.

"When is he not?" Gary asked.

"Ok…"

"So you want to relax? It's not that long a trip. About an hour." Gary said.

"Sure. Where's my mom?"

"Talking to my grandpa. You want to hang out with me?"

"Like I have been? Sure." Gary nodded and led Ash to a couch away from the others.

He sat down and motioned for him to sit down next to him.

"So what's the story with James?"

**A/N: SOOOOORY! I KNOW I KNOW! It's been forever! I'm sorry! I have just been so busy! Updates will be more frequent from now on. I have missed this story! **


	11. Chapter 11

"So what's the story with James?" Gary asked.

Ash sighed and leaned back onto the couch.

"Can we not talk about him?" he asked.

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to. He's not your boyfriend, so don't worry about it."

"Last time I checked he wasn't yours either..."

Ash started to stand up but Gary pulled him back down, effectively stopping him from walking away from the conversation.

"No Ash, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, you don't have to talk about him if you don't want to. I just wish you would…it's hard to understand you if you don't tell me what the fuck happened. I know you guys broke up, but I also know you're not the kind of guy to kill yourself over a guy you dated for one week. I just want to know what's going on but if you don't want to talk about it you don't have to. I understand."

Ash nodded silently. It was quiet for a few minutes before Ash's voice broke the silence.

"James...really is something special." He said.

"How so?"

"Like I told you before, we were only dating a week but to be honest though I didn't know how he felt about me until last week. It's understandable though." Ash said.

"How is it understandable?" Gary asked.

"He's part of Team Rocket! He's the bad guy, I'm the good guy. It's really cliché, but it's the truth. Also, I don't think he knew I was gay. Anyways, aside from him having feelings for me, I had really strong feelings for him…but I wasn't saying anything to him unless he said something to me because I didn't want to embarrass myself." Ash said.

"I see…so you two were in love with each other for who knows how long, before you guys finally got together?"

"Yeah…"

"That probably explains why you felt so attached so quickly, but why him? Why James? You said there was something special about him. What is it?"

"He really understood me. I didn't have to explain myself to him, and I didn't have to apologize for anything I did. Even though he didn't approve of most of the things I did, he put up with them because he loved me…I'm not really sure what happened to fuck things up. I wish I knew, maybe I should have stuck around long enough for him to explain things, I don't know."

"Why would he need to explain himself? He cheated on you. End of story. At least for me that would be." Gary said.

"Yeah well, I still love him…it's not end of story." Ash said.

"Why not?"

"You don't even know my story Gary. I'm not trying to be rude, it's nothing personal really. You just don't know what I'm going through alright? So don't question me."

"What is your story? Tell me, I'll try and understand I won't judge."

"Yeah…you will. Everything I told him, I don't think you could handle it." Ash said.

"I can handle it! I swear!"

Ash looked around to make sure no one else was really around, before pulling Gary closer to him.

"Keep our voices low. Got it?" he asked.

Gary nodded his head.

"Okay…I guess I'll start at the beginning. I was traveling with Cilan and Iris and it got really late so we decided to stop at a Pokemon center for the night. We ate dinner in the cafeteria and when we finished Cilan gave me money to pay for our food. He and Iris went ahead to the room and I paid for our meals and started to head upstairs but I heard something outside so I went to see what it was. There was this girl not much older than me and she was cornered by these four guys so naturally I figured the right thing to do was help her. Well I didn't have any Pokemon on me and the girl was yelling out to be helped. So I went over there, and I was no match for those four guys but I did manage to hold them off until the girl got away. I was about to run away when I knocked one of the guys down. He landed hard on the ground twisting and breaking his neck he died instantly. After that the other three guys ran away. The guy who fell was wearing a mask and I pulled up the mask and I realized that the bastard that I just killed was my own fucking dad! The cops started coming so I ran into the Pokemon Center and acted like nothing happened. Well apparently those guys with my dad were part of a gang he belonged to. After me, Cilan and Iris left town they followed us."

"They followed you? Stalkers much?" Gary asked.

"Yeah…pretty much, can I continue?"

Gary nodded.

"They did other things…"

"What kind of things?" Gary asked.

"Uh…sexual things…against my will."

"They raped you?" Gary asked.

"Moving on. The next day I get a call from my mom telling me she's engaged to one of the guys in the gang. I didn't tell her that I killed my dad but she knows he's dead and this guy wanted to marry my mom just to hurt me and my mom and my mom couldn't see that. I decided I didn't want to be a part of that and ignored them. They got married he got her pregnant and left her. I knew something like that would happen. Well after he left her I let my mom back in my life, but drugs-"

"Don't tell me you're a druggie."

"It's easier than taking a knife to my wrist..."

Gary's eyes slowly looked downwards towards Ash's wrists hoping not to see any signs of self-abuse but since Ash was wearing long sleeves there really wasn't anyway to tell.

"I don't…believe it." Gary said.

"What's not to believe?" Ash asked.

"Can I see?" Gary asked looking at the sleeves of Ash's jacket.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't let just anyone see them. They're not a fucking display Gary!"

"I know I just…It'll make it more believable!" Gary yelled.

Ash thought for a moment contemplating what Gary said. Sure, this was unbelievable to Gary. He didn't have to live through this.

"Fine. I'll let you see them."

Ash slowly took his jacket off, one sleeve at a time Gary watched as his friend shared his most intimate details with him.

"Here…" Ash said, turning his head so he wouldn't have to see Gary's reaction.

Gary looked in awe at the scars. Up and down, side by side, they decorated his arms in a sickening pattern. He looked downwards until he saw the two enticing cuts. One on each wrists. The two Ash had made in an attempt to take his life...

"I'm…so sorry…."

"It's my own fault. I could've stopped. I could've said no, but by the time I realized I needed to stop and reevaluate some things my life had already become so screwed up I just didn't think it was worth living anymore…not without him."

Ash put his jacket back on, and sat back in the couch.

"You done?" Gary asked.

"Yep."

"Damn…I'm not judging you but I just need to know one thing."

"Alright."

"You still into drugs?"

"I don't know. James wouldn't let me do them around him, so I haven't done anything in like a week. I haven't had any serious withdrawal symptoms though. Honestly, I miss the high, but I can live without them."

"Good. I mean, we could've gotten you help, they're just bad for you." Gary said.

"I know…I know…"

"But all of that Ash, it's in the past. Except or your mom and the baby but you know what? The only thing you can do now is support her, you've always wanted a younger sibling so in a way this is a blessing. Sure the dad is a dick, but so was your dad and so is my dad, look! We all have something in common" Gary laughed.

"Only you would find humor in that..."

"Yes, I do. You know why?"

"No Gary. Why?"

"Because it's in the fucking past and it doesn't matter anymore! What matters is right now. What happened then doesn't have to determine your future and think about it! If you had died you would not have had a future! All because of you going through a rough time! You're Ash, the future Pokemon master! Okay? Don't let anyone tell you different. Got it loser?"

Ash nodded. He felt warmhearted at Gary's sincerity, never in a million years had he known how much he meant to his former rival.

"Got it." Ash smiled.

"Great. So seriously though, would you take James back?"

"Depends on how good of an apology he has prepared. He said he had some sort of explanation, I kind of want to hear it..."

"If it were me I wouldn't even bother with him, besides you loving him and him understanding you, what the hell has you so attached to the guy?" Gary asked.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"The sex was fucking awesome."

**A/N: Anddd…on that awkward note I leave you. Me and my puppy have to go to bed. Busy day tomorrow! SHOPPING! **** I'll update soon. And yes while this was probably mostly, a filler chapter the next chapter will be more important to the story. I just thought this one was kind of cute and would give some insight to Gary and Ash's relationship…maybe even explain how Ash was feeling. **


	12. Chapter 12

The boat docked into a harbor in Pallet Town a little while later and they all got out and piled into a car the professor had prepared for them. It was a tight fit so Gary settled for sitting on Ash's lap.

"Comfortable?" Ash asked.

"Very." He said and leaned back, resting his head against Ash's chest.

It felt nice to have someone comforting him, but at the same time sitting like this with Gary felt like a huge betrayal towards James…even if they weren't dating at the moment. Fortunately he didn't have to dwell on the thought for too long because the car ride was a short one. As the car came to a stop he moved to get up but felt Gary's weight still pressed against his body.

"Gary, get off of me. We're home."

"….."

Gary had fallen asleep, he gently shook Gary until he woke up.

"Hey, we're home." He said.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." Gary laughed softly, he got up and exited the car. Ash started to get his things but Gary stopped him.

"Here let me."

"Gary I may have just gotten out of the hospital but I'm not completely helpless."

"Do you want to carry your own luggage?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"Well to bad." Gary said, snatching the suitcase out of Ash's hand and running into his house.

Ash walked inside and immediately felt his mother's arms around him. He returned the hug as Gary watched in silence, a smile gracing his features. Before they pulled away he decided to set Ash's things in his room and let him and his mother have a talk. As he was headed out the door Delia called out to him.

"Gary, you and your Grandfather should come over for dinner later."

"What time Mrs. Ketchum?" He asked.

"Around seven."

"Thank you for inviting us, we'll be here." He said before walking out the door, closing it softly behind him so it wouldn't slam.

**A/N: Sorry about the shortness. The next chapter will be longer. This is mainly a bridge to the next chapter. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: If there are mistakes, sorry. I'll look over it better tomorrow but its 2:05 and I have an early morning. Goodnight and please enjoy and review. **

"You're suffocating me mom!" Ash laughed, trying to wiggle free from the hug.

She released him and sat down on the couch, motioning for him to sit next to her. He sat down and smiled.

"It's good to be home mom."

"Ash…what am I going to do with you?" She asked.

"I'm sorry mom."

"It's alright. I forgive you, I was never even angry with you. I was just worried. Do you know how frightening it is to get a call saying your only son is in the hospital because he tried to kill himself?"

"I'm sorry! I was just so upset…I loved him."

"I'm sure you did. I know it must have been hard for you, but you can't be so hard on yourself. The doctor informed me that you have been cutting yourself and using drugs. I saw the cuts myself and cried. Why Ash? Are you not happy?" Delia asked.

"I…was going through a hard time. I'll give you a short version of the story. I got in a fight with some guys, they found me, raped me, one of them turned out to be dad, I accidently killed him-"

"You killed someone?!" Delia gasped.

"He was beating the shit out of me. If I didn't kill him, he would've killed me. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was dad at the time, when I found out it was too late." Ash explained.

"Did you get in trouble?" Delia asked.

"I'm not in prison am I? Let's just keep this on the down low. Alright?"

Delia nodded before asking her next question. "They raped you?"

"Yeah…but I got over it pretty quickly."

"How so?"

"By turning to drugs. You must be really disappointed in me." Ash said.

"I can understand your reasoning now, but do I need to get you help? Are you an addict?" Delia asked.

Ash shook his head no. "I quit. James helped me get sober."

"At least he was good for one thing."

"Mom!"

"Sorry, but honestly do you expect me to forgive him for making you upset?"

"No…I guess not." Ash laughed. He knew how protective his mom was. Even if he and James did get back together, James would probably never win her approval.

"Another thing mom…" Ash said seriously.

"What?"

"I hate to tell you this, and I don't do it out of anger or hate but Jeff is one of the guys that raped me."

Delia's eyes widened as she shook her head in disbelief.

"I know he's mean, but I don't think the **father of my child **would rape my other child." She said.

"Why do you think I was so afraid of him?"

"I just thought you needed time to warm up to him. I never thought he…"

"It's alright. I've moved past it, but I don't think we should include him in our lives anymore. He's dangerous. I just didn't want to break your heart, and it really hurt to see him do it himself when he walked out on you and the baby."

Delia nodded with newly formed tears in her eyes, and Ash hugged her tightly.

"We don't have to tell anyone. The important thing is, I love this baby, you love this baby and this baby will feel loved. I promise to stop cutting and doing drugs, and I've decided to take some time off from training to get some rest. I could use a break."

Delia hugged Ash back and kissed his cheek.

"It's a good thing you feel that way, because you are still grounded for a week. I love you though, and I wish you had told me what you were going through. You didn't have to go through it by yourself. You have me, and I am your mother. I am here to help guide and help you through tough times like these. If I had lost you I don't know what I would have done…and yes I agree we can keep these things our little secrets. Secrets between a mother and a son. I feel so much closer to you now." She said.

"I feel closer to you too. I was just so ashamed."

"You never have to feel ashamed of anything in front of me. Remember that." Delia said before kissing Ash once again and releasing him from the hug.

"Do you want to help me make dinner? We're having guests." She asked.

Ash nodded. Glad to have fixed his relationship with his mother.

**TWO HOURS LATER_**

There was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Ash called.

He opened the door to see Gary, Tracey and Professor Oak standing in the doorway as expected.

"Come on in guys." Ash said, stepping aside for them to come inside.

They entered the house and sat down on the sofa. Ash sat in a chair across from them.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Great. How are you?" Tracey asked politely.

"I'm fine. Feeling a lot better. Dinner is almost ready."

"What's for dinner?" Professor Oak asked.

"Stuffed Mushrooms!"

"Yeah! Shrooms!" Tracey yelled, earning a warning look The Professor.

"No, stupid. These are Mushrooms you eat. You don't use them to get high." Gary explained.

"I thought there wasn't a difference."

"Tracey have you ever done Shrooms?" Ash asked.

"Well…no, but I'm willing to try! What's it like?"

"It's like E."

"What's that like?"

"You've never done drugs before have you?"

"No."

"Get a life Tracey." Gary laughed, Ash couldn't help but laugh as well.

Professor Oak had left the conversation at the mention of Ecstasy. At least he knew that Gary didn't do drugs.

"Dinner is ready!" Delia called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, bring on the high!" Tracey said excitedly.

"For the last time Tracey, there's a difference!" Gary yelled, rolling his eyes.

"A difference in what?" Delia asked.

"Nothing." All three teens said in unison.

When Delia was out of hearing distance Ash said to Tracey, "Hey man, don't talk about drugs in front of my mom."

Tracey nodded and they went in the kitchen to eat.

**A/N: This was mainly a mother/son chapter. In the next few chapters I will get more into Gary and Ash's relationship/friendship and we will see how James is doing. I have to admit this story is going in a completely different direction I thought it would but I like it. I got the stuffed mushroom Idea from dinner tonight. That's what my mom cooked. It was some pretty good eats. Lol.**


	14. Chapter 14

"That was a great dinner Mrs. Ketchum." Gary said after they had all finished eating.

"You're so sweet! It wasn't all me though, my Ash helped me make it!" Delia said ruffling Ash's hair, making his hat fall off.

Gary caught it before it hit the ground and placed it back on his head.

"Thanks Gary." Ash said.

Gary nodded and moved towards the door.

"It's getting late, we should get going. We still have to feed the Pokemon _their_ dinner." He laughed.

"I'm glad he's doing alright." Gary said to no one in particular.

The Professor nodded, hearing Gary's words. He walked beside him, with Tracey running ahead complaining of the humid night air.

"Me too… You should spend more time with him, the doctor says he could easily fall into a depressive state without support from friends and family. Most of his friends can't be here right now."

"I can do that." Gary said.

Professor Oak gave another nod, and picked up the pace. "It is humid out here."

Back at the Ketchum household Ash was helping his mom with the dishes.

"That was fun." He said.

"Yes it was, we should do it more often. They live so close by." Delia said, putting a plate away.

"I've missed this town, I love this region. Out of all the regions I've traveled to, none of them have had the same effect this one has on me."

Delia laughed and finished putting the plates away. She closed the cabinet door and sat down, motioning for Ash to sit next to her.

"It's obvious why. You started your journey here, you met Pikachu here, you met so many friends and you have you have your family here. I love this place too. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else." She said.

"I love you mom."

He wrapped his mom in a hug she returned.

Gary laid on his bed, lost in his thoughts. He couldn't stop thinking about Ash. Ever since his grandpa told him what happened he couldn't get his mind off of him. Why would someone cheat on Ash? He had everything, he was a great Pokemon Trainer, he was strong, had a great personality, and he certainly wasn't ugly…

"FUCK!" He yelled loudly.

Tracey opened his bedroom door. "I was walking by and heard you yell. Are you alright?"

"Yes, please leave. I need to be alone."

Tracey thought about prying a little bit more but the look on Gary's face was serious. He needed to be left alone.

"It's probably about Ash." He muttered, closing the door feeling rejected and a bit jealous.

Gary rolled his eyes and went back to his own thoughts.

There used to be some romantic feelings between them…mainly Gary…but Ash didn't return them. Well it was more like he couldn't, and Gary understood.

_Three years ago_

_Ash was asleep in his room at the Pokemon Center when he heard a knock on the door. He looked at May, Max, and Brock who were all fast asleep. Which meant he had to get the door. He sighed and got up to get the door, stumbling over Pikachu in the process._

"_Sorry buddy." _

_He opened the door and was surprised to see Gary Oak standing there. _

"_Do you know what time it is?" He asked his rival at the time. _

"_I know it's late but do you have a minute? I want to talk to you." Gary said._

"_I have a minute. What do you want?" _

"_Can we talk in private?" _

_Ash nodded and slipped his sneakers on. He walked out the door, closing it behind him. He yawned._

"_Fuck, I'm tired. Gary make this quick." _

"_Alright. Well, I had this big speech prepared, but since you are tired and want to get to bed I'll just give it to you straight. Ash, I like you. A lot. Not as a rival, not as a friend…I want to be more than friends. I love you."_

"_Are you high?" Ash asked._

"_No! I'm not! I can say my ABC'S backwards. Z-Y-X-W"_

"_Gary, that's to test if you've been drinking. Not smoking pot. I'm going back to bed."_

"_NO ASH! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" _

_Gary pushed him against the wall, and kissed him passionately to prove his point. Ash's eyes widened and he thought about pushing Gary away for a moment, but then he realized…it felt right. _

_Gary pulled away and smirked._

"_So now do you understand? I'm serious. That was my first kiss and I gave it to you! I'd be willing to give you more…anything you want. That's what you do when you love someone. You do anything you can to make them happy. Well at least that's what I want to do."_

_Ash didn't say anything, he just pulled Gary into another passionate kiss. _

Gary smiled fondly at the memory. They were each other's first kiss, and it kept going on and on. Kissing each other until Ash almost fell out from exhaustion. He really did a number on the boy. Of course Gary hoped that he could be his first time as well but their relationship never lasted longer than that night. His heart clenched at the memory.

_Ash was about to head off with his friends when Gary came running up to him. _

"_Hey! What are you doing?" he asked._

"_What's Gary doing here?" Brock asked. _

"_Uh…I don't know." Ash said. He pulled Gary aside, making sure no one could hear them. _

"_What's up?" he asked._

"_I was wondering what you were doing. I thought we were gonna be together." Gary said._

"_I just won my battle here, I need to get going to the next town. I have a journey to finish." _

"_I'll go with you. Just give me a few minutes to pack." Gary said. He started running off to pack, but Ash stopped him. _

"_Aren't you doing a research project? You can't leave, you need to focus." _

"_Then…How are we…"_

"_To be honest I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I thought about what you said last night and, I love you too, but I can't do it. I really did enjoy last night though. Thank you, it was a lot of fun. Maybe we can fool around again sometime." Ash said. He smiled and hugged Gary, but Gary pulled away._

"_I have to go. See you later." He said and walked off. _

"Maybe we can fool around again sometime. He's so dense, he probably didn't realize how degrading that sounded." Gary whispered.

There was no doubt about it. He did still have strong feelings of love for Ash, but he had to restrain himself. If Ash didn't show an interest, than neither would he. He refused to get his heart broken again.

After he "got over" Ash, he dated several other guys. Some of who he wasn't compatible with and some who just didn't treat him right.

_One year ago:_

"_Just let me relax, Trip. I'm frustrated." _

"_Is it me?"_

"_No."_

"_You're a liar." _

"_It's not you! It's this damn fossil. I can't figure out what it is!" _

"_Fuck you Gary Oak! You think you're somebody! You are nobody!" _Trip yelled, he picked up Gary's laptop and threw it.

"_Why would you do that? It has all of my data on it!" _

_Gary ran over to his laptop and luckily it was alright. He turned to Trip and screamed._

"_I hate you! You could've ruined everything I worked on for the last nine months!"_

_Trip grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up off the floor, dragging him into the bedroom. He threw him onto the bed and…_

Gary bit his lip as he felt tears start to fall. He definitely didn't want to relieve _**that**_memory again. He had enough nightmares about Trip as it was. Even after that incident it took him a good six months to break up with him. He went back to thinking about Ash.

"Well he did say he loved me…that's a start."

**A/N: Yes, I changed something up in the first chapter. So all of you who are gonna be like, but it said James was his first kiss…I changed it. This is better. And I chose Trip because he is so underrated. He deserves some attention, and no I'm not a Trip hater. He just fits the role. Everyone always uses Paul for the mean roles but I thought Nah…let's do something different. Also sorry for the late update, I got writers block soooooooooo bad.**


	15. Chapter 15

"I can't even masturbate without thinking about him." Ash said.

"Just tell him how you feel." Brock said through the phone.

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"What about James?" Ash asked his friend.

"He's not your boyfriend anymore, and it's obvious you are sexually frustrated." Brock said.

"I don't want to take advantage of Gary just because I'm sexually frustrated."

"I thought you actually had romantic feelings for him."

"I do…I love him, but don't you think it's-"

"There's never a time limit on love Ash. Grab it while it's there before it's NOT there anymore. Who knows if James will ever come back?"

"He said he'd apologize." Ash said.

"Has he? It's been a week now. Has he made any attempt to get in contact with you?" Brock asked.

"No…"

"I know for a fact Gary's been by your side since you've left the hospital. He's not my favorite person in the world but I'm still saying you should give the poor guy a chance. Anyone with eyes can tell how he feels about you, and what about that time back in Rustboro City, was it?" Brock asked.

"Yeah it was in Rustboro."

"In Rustboro City he told you he loved you. Sure, it was bad timing but still-"

"I know. I just…James."

"Gary deserves a fair chance, and I know it might hurt you to hear this but he's a good looking guy. He can get anyone he wants but he chose you. He's also impatient and stubborn, like you. So if you resist for too long he WILL give up and you WILL miss a good opportunity."

Ash knew Brock was right, he just couldn't shake the feeling that James was missing him and probably coming up with the perfect apology right now.

"I'll think about it." he said.

"Alright. Well call me when you figure out what you're gonna do. I'm worried about you. Misty too." Brock said.

"So how is the relationship between you two?" Ash laughed.

"Oh…you know?"

"Everyone knows."

"Well, I guess we weren't as subtle as we thought we were being."

"Guess not. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Misty's a great girl. You're a lucky guy."

"Thanks! And everything is going great by the way. We're thinking of moving in together."

"Awesome, I'm happy for you!" Ash said.

"Thanks! It's great to finally have things out in the open! Well I gotta go, don't forget to call me later for an update." Brock said.

"Will do." Ash said and hung up the phone.

He knew it would be a tough decision. Yes, he had been picking up the subtle hints Gary had been sending him. The hospital, the taxi, sitting on his lap, carrying his luggage, being extra nice to him. He was quite enjoying Gary's company. Brock was right though, James still hadn't apologized. Ash was sure he would sometime soon. Ash jumped as he was brought out of his thoughts by his phone ringing.

_I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST! THAT NO ONE EVER WA-_

"Well…"

_Speak of the devil. _

Caller ID: James

"Hey…" Ash said awkwardly. He didn't really know what to say.

"How are you? You're not cutting anymore are you?" James asked.

"No. I learned my lesson."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you'd try and kill yourself. I'm damn happy you survived though! Now I can apologize."

"Ok let's hear it." Ash said.

"Uh…Alright. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. A big one, but I didn't cheat on you!" James said.

"Then why did you say you did?"

"I…wanted to cover up what I really did. I had to pledge my loyalty to Team Rocket. They made me do something I knew you wouldn't approve of."

"What?"

"I…had to kill a wild Pokemon. It was evil, and terrible and I felt bad doing it-"

"You killed a Pokemon?! How could you do something so terrible?"

"I had to…if I didn't Jessie would have reported to the boss that I was a traitor to Team Rocket. I hate myself for it! Please try and understand!" James said, as he tried to plead with Ash.

He didn't want to lose him but he knew if he found out from someone else…it'd be worse than it already was.

"NO! I can't understand! You know how much I love Pokemon, and you know how much I love you! If I had to choose one…I'd have to choose Pokemon. It's my dream, and what you did was wrong. Fuck…Fuck!"

"If it helps you're not bad in bed. I made that up too!"

"You're terrible! I'm hanging up and don't EVER call me again. _I hate you!_" Ash yelled. He hung up the phone with tears in his eyes.

He needed some comfort. He knew Brock was probably sleeping and even if he wasn't he was in Pewter City, he couldn't give him the kind of comfort he needed.

He picked up his phone, still crying, he dialed Gary's cell phone. After two rings he answered.

"Hello?" He asked, he sounded tired.

"Gary…can you come over? I need someone with me right now, I feel like shit."

"Are you crying?" Gary asked.

"Yes…"

"I'm on my way over. We'll talk when I get there." Gary said.

They hung up and Ash replayed the conversation with James in his mind.

"_**I…wanted to cover up what I really did. I had to pledge my loyalty to Team Rocket. They made me do something I knew you wouldn't approve of." James said.**_

"_**What?" **_

"_**I…had to kill a wild Pokemon. It was evil, and terrible and I felt bad doing it-"**_

"_**You killed a Pokemon?! How could you do something so terrible?" **_

"_**I had to…if I didn't Jessie would have reported to the boss that I was a traitor to Team Rocket. I hate myself for it! Please try and understand!" James said, as he tried to plead with Ash. **_

What if I took him back? What if he succeeded in capturing Pikachu and killed him too? I can't even trust him anymore! He already admitted to lieying to me twice. Ash cried even harder, as he thought of James betrayal.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It's just me…are you alright? What happened?" Gary asked.

"James called me."

"He made you cry?"

Ash nodded.

"That bastard. What did he say?" Gary asked.

"He told me he lied. He didn't cheat on me."

"What? Then why did he say he did?"

"He did something terrible. He killed a Pokemon to pledge his allegiance to Team Rocket. He chose Team Rocket over me. I hate him! Will I take him back? Hell no. Never! He could hurt my Pokemon, what if he succeeds in capturing Pikachu and kills him! I can't trust him. I thought I loved him…I…"Ash couldn't get anything else out, he was crying too much.

"I knew they were bad, but not evil…I'm sorry Ash."

"Don't be. I deserve better."

"Now we're talking! You deserve better and you know it!" Gary said, with a smile.

"Someone like you?" Ash asked.

"You don't mean that." Gary said.

"Yes I do."

"You're emotional right now an-"

"Last time I said I loved you it was bad timing! This time, it's bad circumstances. If you want to know the truth I've been talking to Brock. He's been bugging me about giving you a chance, to get over James. I didn't realize how much you cared about me until you got out of bed at 1:00 in the morning to come comfort me. I never realized how much of a shithead James was. I've been wanting to give you a chance but I've been too caught up on that shithead to notice how I feel. So if you don't mind, I'd like to pick up where we left off in Rustboro City." Ash said.

To prove his point he pulled Gary down, Gary fell on top of him and Ash kissed him. It was a passionate kiss full of lust, comfort, and love. Just like in Rustboro.

"You better not be fucking with me Ash Ketchum. If you are just playing with me because you're emotional I'll fuck you up. I swear it. I love you, but I've already been through this heartbreak once. If you can promise me you'll still love me tomorrow then I think I can agree to a relationship with you."

"I promise you I'll still love you tomorrow."

Gary kissed Ash again, and this time he didn't have to worry about him leaving on a journey the next day.

He was grounded of course.

**A/N: I don't know if you got the song reference, but it's there. Will you still love me tomorrow Lol. This is not the end. And there will definitely be more James so don't go saying "This is just an Ash/Gary story now!" Even if it was, who doesn't love Gary? Review! **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Remember last chapter when I had the original theme song as his ringtone…yeah. No one commented on that. I thought I'd get more laughs, it was some comic relief. I felt this story needed some. Lol. And if you hate Palletshipping. You are going to HATE the next few chapters. **

"Ash woke up the next morning by himself. He felt betrayed for a moment, after last night's activities he thought Gary could have at least said goodbye. He rolled over and saw a note.

_Ashy-Boy,_

_I REALLY hate to leave you, but I had some early morning work to attend to. I'll be done around noon. Since you're still grounded, I'll be over when I finish my work. Love you, and I promise next time I'll tell you if I have to leave…you just look so cute when you're sleeping. I didn't want to wake you up. P.S- You snore…_

Ash put the note on his bedside table and sighed. He looked at the clock, it was almost noon. He was still tired from last night, so he went back to sleep.

"Hey babe! Still sleeping? Want me to come back later?" Ash woke up upon hearing Gary's voice.

Gary started to leave but Ash grabbed his hand.

"Stay with me."

Gary sat down on the bed and ran his hand through the trainer's messy hair.

"How was work?" Ash yawned.

"Terrible. I couldn't stop thinking about you." Gary said.

"Are you happy we're dating now?"

"Of course, Ashy, now I can do this whenever I want to." Gary said, kissing Ash.

They continued to kiss until there was a knock on the door, Gary quickly pulled away, and right before Mrs. Ketchum came in.

"Gary! What a surprise! I didn't hear you come in! How was work?"

"It was work. I studied the basics of Pokemon Evolution. Gramps is a great mentor." Gary said.

"That is good to hear. Do you plan on spending the day with Ash?"

"I do, if that's alright. I know he's grounded but…"

Ash gave Gary a look meaning, he was a little peeved at him bringing up his punishment. Of course Mrs. Ketchum didn't mind. Not wanting Ash to fall into a state of depression.

"It's perfectly alright! I think it's great for Ash to have so many friends. As long as you stay inside the house, you won't be breaking any rules. But no leaving, no computer, and **absolutely no Pokemon training while you're grounded.**" Delia said, a smile on her face the entire time.

"Well I have to go run some errands, you boys have fun while I'm gone!" She closed the door and a few seconds later they heard the front door open and close.

"No Pokemon training? Harsh…"

"Shut-up Gary."

"Aw, is little Ashy mad?"

"Nope, I have all the entertainment I need right here." Ash pulled Gary in for another kiss.

They fooled around for a while before Gary pulled away, and buttoned his shirt.

"This is nice and all, but we can't do this all day. Your mom will get suspicious." He said.

Ash nodded his head in agreement. "But what should we do? I'm grounded so I can't go anywhere."

"Damn…why'd she have to ground you? Now let's see…she never said no video games…"

"You're right! Let's play!"

Ash got out of bed and ran to where his gaming systems were located, he chose the PS3 and gave Gary a few games to choose from while he set it up.

"This one." Gary said.

"I knew you'd pick that one." Ash laughed.

He put the game in, and they started to play. It was a two player game which was good. They both created a character and had to go through a series of obstacles before returning to a base to win.

They had been playing for an hour and Gary was clearly better than Ash, but Ash didn't want to lose to his former rival. He called Pikachu over.

"Give him a small jolt, not enough to hurt him. Just enough to make him lose his concentration for a minute so I can win!" Ash whispered. Pikachu nodded and complied with his master's orders.

"Pikachu!" he said and Gary jumped, dropping his controller.

"Why'd you do that Pikachu?"

Ash took this opportunity to kill Gary's character and return to the base, therefore winning the game.

"Winner, player one!" The screen said.

"No fair!" Gary shouted.

"Totally fair!" Ash said, smiling.

"You had help!

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ash said nonchalantly.

Gary glared at him for a second before tackling him to the ground, knocking the controller out of his hand. He started kissing his neck, and Pikachu chose this moment to leave the room.

"Pikapi Chu Pika?" he said shaking his head slowly. (_Why are they so horny?) _

Gary continued kissing Ash's neck being careful not to leave any marks.

"Would it bother you if anyone knew about us?" Gary asked suddenly.

"No not really. I mean, my mom likes you. Professor Oak likes me. What is there to be ashamed of, they both know we're gay right?"

"No…I haven't told gramps." Gary said, then went back to kissing Ash but Ash pushed him away.

"You haven't told your grandpa about one of the biggest parts of your life? Sexuality is important, he needs to know you like men. Especially if you want him to know we're dating." Ash said.

"I know, but I don't know how to come out. You had it easy, your mom saw you holding hands with some guy when you were twelve, then pretty much figured it out from there. I figured it'd be easier to tell him if I was in a relationship and…"

"You want my help?" Ash asked.

Gary nodded.

"I don't mind. You have to be the one to say it, but I can be there for support and help answer any questions he has."

"I'd love you to be there for support."

"Now that that's out of the way…can we get back to what we were doing?" Ash asked.

"Did I mention I like your sex drive?" Gary asked.

"No…what exactly do you see in me?" Ash asked.

"I see your looks, your personality, your laugh, your determination, your love for Pokemon….and so many more things. What exactly do you see in me?"

"I see your looks as well, you're really cocky, and mischievous, and sometimes arrogant, but you can also be sweet, loving, kind, affectionate, and I love your hair. You're a strong trainer, and a great Pokemon professor in training, you're really something great." Ash said.

"Cocky, Mischievous, and Arrogant?" Gary asked.

"Is that all you got out of that?" Ash asked.

"No, those are just the things I have to work on."

"Don't work on anything. Every part of your personality is what makes you, you. Plus…I think it's sexy for you to have an attitude sometimes. I guess I like the bad boy type."

"I can tell, you know team rocket and all."

"Not that bad! At least…not anymore. You're enough to handle, and you're all I need. I love you." Ash said.

"I love you too Ashy." Gary said.

"I'm hungry, Gary, Make me a sandwich."

"Make your own damn sandwich! You're grounded, not paralyzed!"

Ash groaned and got up to go and make himself a sandwich.

"Make me one Baby." Gary said.

"Fuck off."


	17. Chapter 17

Ash busied himself making a sandwich, while Gary watched intently. He noticed Ash was still wearing his long sleeves. The problem Gary had is that he couldn't tell if Ash was still cutting, or if he was just wearing the hoodie while he waited for the scars to go away. He didn't want to ask because it was such a touchy subject and he hadn't noticed any new cuts last night or this morning. So he figured he was good.

"He seems to be eating normally, no signs of depression." Gary thought out loud.

Ash gave him a weird look and Gary realized he had said that out loud.

"Were you talking about me? I'm a little depressed, I don't know why though. I have you and you're all I need. But you're right, I have been eating normally."

"Any more cutting?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Just making sure."

Ash nodded and ate his sandwich. He noticed Gary staring at him.

"What? Is there something special about the way I eat my sandwiches?" he asked.

"I just think you're cute."

Ash blushed and finished his sandwich, he stood up and grabbed Gary by the hand, leading him into the living room.

"What are we doing?"

"We're going to do a hypothetical situation. You'll be you and I'll be Professor Oak. You'll tell me, Professor Oak, you're gay and I'll react."

"Why are we doing this?"

"What else do we have to do?"

Gary thought for a moment before agreeing to it, they had already played video games, fooled around and had sex. Besides maybe practice would be a good thing. He wasn't really sure how to come out and Ash did say he'd help him.

"Okay." Gary nodded.

"You have to start it. Just start it out by saying it how you're going to say it when you tell him."

"Alright…Uh…Grandpa, I have something I want to tell you." Gary said awkwardly.

"Alright, what is it?" Ash asked in character.

"I'm gay, and I'm dating Ash."

"Oh, how nice." Ash said, still in character.

Gary shook his head.

"It isn't going to go over like that and you know It." he said.

"I know. I was just showing you what you wanted to happen, now do it again and I'll be more realistic."

Gary started again.

"I'm gay and I'm dating Ash." He said.

Ash didn't say anything.

"You there?" Gary asked.

"Gay…as in you like boys?"

"That's what gay means, but I don't just like any boy! I only have eyes for one. This one." He said looking at Ash.

"Well, it's not what I expected from you…" Ash said.

"Are we done?" Gary asked.

Ash nodded yes, and Gary rolled his eyes.

"You really think that it'll go over that smoothly don't you? And what did you mean by that last part?"

"My mom said she needed time to accept it. She told me she still loved me and everything about me, but she needed time to process it. So I gave her some space and eventually she came around. Your grandpa is a more practical, sciences type of guy so it might not go over as smoothly as we planned but he loves you and he's got a kind heart. Just give him some credit. If he's gonna be mad about anything it'll be that you waited so long to tell him." Ash said.

"I'm just scared. My dad always told me that being gay was a bad thing…"

"Where's your dad now?"

"Probably passed out in some bar."

"So does his opinion really matter? Besides your dad and your grandpa are two different people."

"I know but…"

"And if he rejects you, you can always come stay with us. My mom loves you. I love you." Ash said and kissed Gary passionately.

"I'm guessing you're not my grandpa anymore?"

"Would your grandpa kiss you like that?"

"You're the only one allowed to kiss me baby." Gary laughed.

Pikachu came over to see what they were laughing about only to catch the two boys in one of their make-out sessions. He shook his head, wondering if those two would ever make it past the honeymoon stage of their relationship.

**A/N: Well it has only been a few days…come on Pikachu…lol. Anyways next chapter will be when they tell Professor Oak and Delia they are dating. Also we'll check in on James and see how he's doing. I know you are like ASH AND JAMES PLEASE, so you will get some next chapter. I'm working on it now, but it's long and hard to write. So give me time. **


	18. Chapter 18

"Did you talk to him?" Meowth asked.

"I called him, and explained the entire situation." James said solemnly, recalling the conversation.

"What did he say?"

"He basically said he hated me."

"Funny, I thought the twerp would be a lot more understanding." Meowth said, struggling to pick up a piece of firewood.

James helped him by putting the wood in the almost lifeless fire himself, the fire roared back to life after a few moments.

"That's warmer," James said, "And I can understand his being angry. Now that I think about it Meowth, I did disrespect everything he's ever stood for."

"It was one lousy Pokemon!" Meowth said.

"Meowth, you are one Pokemon! What if Jesse had asked me to kill you? Think about it? You should hate me just as much as he does. I don't even deserve to live."

"Please tell me, you're not gonna try to kill yourself, like that pathetic ex-boyfriend of yours."

James glared at Meowth.

"**What did you say cat?" James asked, seething with anger. **

Meowth backed away from James and pointed behind him. James turned around and realized it was Jesse who had said that and not Meowth.

"Jesse!"

"I've been here the whole time. Listening to your nonsense. Who the hell cares if he wants you back or not? He's just a-"

"Shut-up! You're only saying hurtful things about him because you're jealous. Well I have news for you, I'm gay! G-A-Y! Gay Jesse! You and I will NEVER be a couple. Hell, I don't even want to be part of your team anymore. I'm out of here. I'm going solo from now on!" James said.

And he meant it. He packed his things and walked in the opposite direction of the camp. Meowth looked between Jesse and James.

"Wait up James! I'm comin' witcha!" he yelled.

James paused his walking for a moment as he waited for Meowth to catch up. Meowth hopped on James's head, and they walked away.

"They look like the twerp and Pikachu," Jesse said rolling her eyes, "Anyways they'll be back."

In the morning when they still weren't back, she waited for a few hours then packed up camp and left.

"Fine! If they want to be on their own, so be it! I don't need anyone." She said, trying to figure out how to take down her tent. James always took care of that.

Anyways, she would figure it out on her own. She thought. Determined as ever. Meanwhile, Meowth and James were heading out after a peaceful night at the Pokemon Center.

BACK IN KANTO:

Ash sat next to a fidgeting Gary. They were holding hands, but Ash pulled his away.

"You okay?" Gary asked.

"I should be asking you that? You're sweating like a Miltank."

Gary blushed and wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans.

"I can't help it Ash, I'm nervous- and why the hell aren't they here yet?!" Gary yelled.

"Your grandpa said he'd be here in a few minutes and my mom is in the shower. That's why." Ash said, smiling at his boyfriend's childishness.

"What are you smiling about?" Gary asked.

"You're just cute. All nervous and flustered. I could kiss you." Ash said.

Gary smiled too.

"I might let you kiss me." He said.

"Might?"

"I don't know, try it." Gary said.

Ash leaned in to kiss him, and Gary let him. Only for a second though, because they heard a knock on the door.

"You don't think its gramps do you?"

"I don't know, wanna find out?" Ash asked.

And without waiting for another word he went to the door and opened it.

"Why hello, Professor Oak."

"Hello Ash, Gary is here and needed to see me?" he asked.

"Yes, while we are waiting for my mom please make yourself at home." Ash said letting the professor in.

Gary looked sharp when he saw his grandpa come in.

Ash sat back down next to him and a few minutes later his mom came downstairs.

"Mom! Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk? Gary and I need to tell you something."

Delia finished drying her hair and nodded. She said down beside Professor Oak, across from the two younger boys.

"So, what is it?" she asked.

"Gary?" Ash asked.

"Right…Gramps, I…don't know how to tell you this…"

"Like we practiced." Ash whispered.

"Yeah but this is the real deal, and the real deal is terrifying." Gary said.

Ash rolled his eyes. "Try again." He said.

"Okay…Grandpa, I'm dating someone.

Professor Oak smiled and leaned back on the couch.

"Is that all? You don't have to be so nervous. So who's the lucky lady?"

"Uh...well, it's not exactly a girl."

The Professor looked confused for a minute before a look of realization came onto his face.

"So who's the lucky _guy_?" He asked.

"What?" Gary asked.

"You're not dating a girl, so I figured you had to be dating a member of the same sex. Nothing wrong with that. Love is love. So who is it?"

Gary laughed and looked at Ash.

"Well, I think he took that rather well." He said. He looked back at his Grandpa.

"And as for my boyfriend, it's this loser sitting next to me." He said playfully.

"Loser? That's not what you were saying last night." Ash said, playing along.

Gary kissed his cheek and whispered.

"Maybe you can prove me wrong tonight?"

Ash kissed Gary, who returned the kiss. When they pulled apart they looked to Ash's mom and Professor Oak.

"Yep. I'm in love with your son."

"And I love Gary, Ego and all."

That made the Professor laugh.

"Well congratulations you two." He said. He gave Gary a hug and it was comforting.

All of Gary's nervousness disappeared. He should've known, he could trust his grandpa with anything.

**A/N: Yeah, the ending is kind of rushed. But I wanted to get it out there for you guys. Impatient you readers are. Lol.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I'm not dead…I've just been busy. With school, volunteer work, work in general, the holidays and everything else I haven't had the time to type things up. I have some things planned for the next chapter, this is a short one so please don't get mad. Okay enough talking…on with the story!**

"Finally!" Gary said.

"I know right! I'm excited to just get out of this house."

Ash pulled Gary into a kiss, not noticing his mother entering the room.

"Is this where I tell you two to get a room?" She joked.

"We would but I've been trapped in this house for way too long mom. I need some fresh air." Ash said grabbing Gary's hand and pulling him out of the house Pikachu following close behind them.

"Sunlight!" Ash yelled.

Gary laughed at his boyfriends antics and picked Pikachu up. "Pika!" Pikachu said happily.

He had grown quite fond of Gary, so he had no objections to being carried around.

"What do you wanna do now that you that you're free?" Gary asked.

"Let's just walk around the city. I wanna get some sun. Is that alright with you?"

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me."

Ash pulled Gary out the door and started walking into the city.

"I have a car you know?"

"I know. Walking is fun!"

"I should have expected that from you. Mr. Pokemon Master." Gary said.

"Correction- Future Pokemon master. I haven't made it quite yet, but I know I will someday."

"That's quite a positive attitude you've got there." Gary said as they reached the town square and Gary spotted their favorite Ice Cream shop.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked.

"If you're thinking Cookies and Cream…then yes."

"I was thinking Rocky Road."

"Eh, that was my second choice but I'm not in the mood for tons of chocolate today. Hell I might even get vanilla."

Gary laughed and they headed towards the Ice Cream shop. Before they went inside Gary pulled Ash in for a kiss.

"I love you." He whispered.

Ash blushed and went to open the door. Before he could someone stopped him by leaning against it, they recognized the guy leaning against the door to be Trip. Gary looked down, avoiding his ex-boyfriends harsh gaze.

"Hey, we would like to go inside…so could ya move?" Gary asked.

"I don't know. I'm not too fond of your _type._" Trip sneered.

"Our type?"

"Yeah…that boy on boy action. It's **sickening.**"

"Trip, you are our type."

"What do you know?"

"I know we dated for like a year."

"Ha, you wish." Trip laughed.

"Actually the only thing I _wish _is that I'd never met you in the first place. Now come on, move it. There is rocky road in there just waiting to be eaten!"

"It was always like that with you. YOU ALWAYS HAD TO HAVE YOUR WAY!" Trip yelled and punched Gary hard knocking him to the ground, making him drop Pikachu.

He grabbed Ash and tried to pull him away from Gary, but Pikachu stood between them.

Ash threw a punch at Trip. Surprised at his sudden outburst Trip was thrown off balance, landing unconscious on the ground next to Gary.

Ash helped his boyfriend up and kissed his forehead which had been scraped when he fell down.

"You never mentioned you two dated." He said after making sure Gary was okay.

"It never came up. Are you mad?" Gary asked.

Ash shook his head. "No…I'm just confused. Why the sudden attack? Did you say something to him?"

"No, I'm just as confused as you are. We haven't talked since the break-up and now he just shows up, it's weird."

Ash nodded.

"You think he'll be okay?"

"Couldn't care less." Gary said and they went inside the Ice Cream shop. When they came out Trip was gone.

"Guess he's fine. He left while we were getting our Ice Cream."

**A/N: SHORT CHAPTER I KNOW. Pikachu is in it though I feel a lot of the time he just gets pushed to the side, anyways I feel like this is more of a filler chapter.**


	20. Chapter 20

Trip walked up to James rubbing the back of his head. Sure he was unconscious for a few minutes and it hurt like hell but no way was he gonna stick around and admit it to his ex-boyfriend. James waved him over.

"So?" James asked.

"I tried. They're like attached at the hip. Shit, the kid even took a swing at me. Knocked me out for a few minutes. I'm back now but tell me- why did you want me to bring you Ash?"

"He's…special to me." James said looking at Trip. He was disappointed. He had hired him to bring Ash to him unharmed so they could talk.

"Well then tell him yourself. I don't think my tactics are what you need. I'm more of a brute force kind of guy. You need a miracle."

"Trip, you didn't hurt him did you?"

"Ash? No. His boyfriend? Yes." Trip grinned and reached his hand out.

James handed him some money and bid him farewell.

"I don't think we'll be doing business again anytime soon." Trip said.

"I agree."

Trip left and Meowth came out of the tent. "So the twerps still with the professors grandson?"

"Yes. For now, Mark my words Meowth I will get him back!"

BACK IN KANTO:

"We should go to your place. If my mom see's even the tiniest scrape she'll freak out." Ash said.

Gary laughed. "I know, I've known her for the last twelve years."

They went inside and saw Professor Oak examining a fossil of some sort. "We discover new things every day in the Pokemon universe." He smiled as he wrote something on a sheet of paper.

"Yeah…hey Gramps, Ash is here. We're gonna go chill upstairs." Gary said.

"Okay have fun, but not too much fun! If you know what I mean?" Professor laughed.

"Ugh…no Grandpa…just…no. Pikachu, why don't you go play with the other Pokemon." Gary said, and Pikachu ran off.

In Gary's room Ash had given Gary a change of clothes and wiped off his cut. Once Gary was changed and cleaned, he kissed his head again.

"All better." Ash said.

Gary laughed and pulled Ash onto the bed with him.

"Wanna play questions?" Gary asked.

"You mean, you just wanna ask each other some questions? That's all the game really is." Ash said.

"Yeah whatever, wanna play?"

"Sure. You go first."

"Okay, remember you have to answer honestly!" Gary said.

"I know."

"So…how many guys have you slept with?" Gary asked.

"Two. You and James."

"Only two…seven for me and yes Trip was one of them. Weather he wants to admit it or not he's gay. Or bisexual. Either way he likes to sleep with men." Gary laughed.

"My turn to ask a question. Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Yes, more than once. Made out with a girl, slept with a girl, and dated a girl…before I realized I was gay. I thought I was bisexual at first because I liked you, then I realized that the thought of fucking a girl didn't turn me on. Is it my turn to ask a question?"

Ash nodded.

"Do you still think about James?" Gary asked.

Ash sat up on the bed and looked at Gary.

"Like in a romantic way? Or…"

"In general. Do you think about him at all?" Gary asked again.

"Oh…yeah sometimes."

"Why?"

"Not in a romantic way, I just think about how he's doing, if he's okay…that kind of stuff. I'm with you now." Ash said.

"Good, and don't forget it!"

Ash smiled and pulled Gary in for a hug, but Gary had different ideas in mind. He pushed Ash back onto the bed and kissed him roughly.

"Remember Ketchum, you're mine now. If James want's you back he'll have to go through me…and I don't like to share."

"Even if James wanted me back, I only have eyes for you."

They kissed again and Ash pulled Gary closer to him, wrapping his arms around him. Gary knew what his boyfriend wanted and was more than happy to go along with it. He tugged at Ash's shirt and Ash got the hint and took his shirt off. Gary sat up and took his shirt off. He kissed Ash again and ran his hands through his hair, knocking his hat off in the process. It joined his shirt on the floor. Gary worked quickly and pretty soon they were both kissing heatedly on Gary's bed. Clothes discarded, Gary smirked as Ash made a small sound underneath him.

"You want me to make you feel good Ashy-boy?"

"God yes. Fuck me Gary."

"Say please."

"Gary…" Ash whined, becoming impatient with his boyfriends arrogance.

"That doesn't sound like please…Ash I know you want it." Gary teased.

"Fuck you Gary, just fuck me!"

"One word, six letters…"

"Fine! Please! Please fuck me!" Ash shouted. Gary kissed him to keep him quiet.

"Ash, my grandpa is downstairs. Don't be so loud." He said.

"Two things Gary, you shouldn't have made me beg and you should know by now…I'm not quiet."

Gary groaned, he didn't want to talk anymore. He wanted Ash now! He positioned himself and entered Ash.

"God, you're always so tight!" Gary breathed.

Ash moaned loudly when Gary started thrusting, he knew just how Ash liked it. Rough…and that was perfectly fine with Gary, for he liked it rough too.

"Fuck! Yes! Don't stop!" Ash screamed.

Gary didn't plan to. At least not until Ash came. He took Ash's member into his hand and started stroking it.

"G-Gary!"

Ash groaned loudly and brought his hips up to meet Gary's thrust. Gary groaned, not even caring about being quiet.

Ash knew he was close. "Gary…I'm gonna"

"Me too babe."

"Gary!" Ash said his boyfriend's name as he came. Gary followed shortly after. He pulled out of Ash and laid down next to Ash. Ash cuddled up to him contently.

"I'm tired." He said.

"Let's just take a nap."

"I love you Gary."

"Love you more."

"That's a lie." Ash said before falling asleep.

**A/N: I hope the Lemon was alright. It's been awhile since I wrote one. I really love Ash/Gary so it's getting harder to have to go back to Ash/James I have to think about what direction this story will go in. I like James determination.**


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